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> I learned this when I tried to explain myself to my partner. I've learnt that no matter if I'm right or wrong, I should just apologize. It's faster and less p

> I learned this when I tried to explain myself to my partner. I've learnt that no matter if I'm right or wrong, I should just apologize. It's faster and less painful. Fwiw, I've always found such statements insanely baffling - in an amused befuddled sort of way. Why would anybody want to spend their life with somebody to whom they couldn't explain themselves and or find common ground?

etchalon 6y ago
Because life shouldn't be spent afraid to apologize, or in constant debate about whether an apology is "required." If you hurt someone, whether intentional or not, apologizing is the least you can do. If you don't believe an apology is warranted, apologize, and sort though where the disconnect is later.
- anoncake 6y ago
  No. By apologizing, you admit what you did was wrong/a mistake. If you don't actually think your apology is warranted, it's nothing but a lie.
  - etchalon 6y ago
    I’m sorry, that’s nonsense. First, you can injure someone, physically or emotionally, without making a mistake or being wrong. So, it’s possible to feel guilt over an injury even if ultimately, you did the “right thing.” The point of an apology isn’t solely to say “I was wrong”. They can be an acknowledgment of the injury you caused. If your actions cause an injury, and you feel no need to apologize, because you “didn’t do anything wrong”, you’re just an asshole.
    - anoncake 6y ago
      But you don't have to feel guilty over every "injury". Sometimes the "injured" party just needs to stop being offended, apologizing to them would just encourage them. Consider homophobes and transphobes: Apparently the public existence of LGBT people somehow hurts them. Should we apologize to them? Hell no, that would only validate them. Here we have a similar, if weaker situation. People just need to stop confusing using and mentioning the word "negro". Or was it "nigger"? I really don't know.
- throwaway210222 6y ago
  > Because life shouldn't be spent afraid to apologize Unless by apologising you start a new process of (often absurd) penalties that you cannot control. Exactly why lawyers instruct people to never apologise or admit fault in even the smallest fender benders. Never mind offending the woke.

etchalon 6y ago

Because life shouldn't be spent afraid to apologize, or in constant debate about whether an apology is "required." If you hurt someone, whether intentional or not, apologizing is the least you can do. If you don't believe an apology is warranted, apologize, and sort though where the disconnect is later.

anoncake 6y ago
No. By apologizing, you admit what you did was wrong/a mistake. If you don't actually think your apology is warranted, it's nothing but a lie.
- etchalon 6y ago
  I’m sorry, that’s nonsense. First, you can injure someone, physically or emotionally, without making a mistake or being wrong. So, it’s possible to feel guilt over an injury even if ultimately, you did the “right thing.” The point of an apology isn’t solely to say “I was wrong”. They can be an acknowledgment of the injury you caused. If your actions cause an injury, and you feel no need to apologize, because you “didn’t do anything wrong”, you’re just an asshole.
  - anoncake 6y ago
    But you don't have to feel guilty over every "injury". Sometimes the "injured" party just needs to stop being offended, apologizing to them would just encourage them. Consider homophobes and transphobes: Apparently the public existence of LGBT people somehow hurts them. Should we apologize to them? Hell no, that would only validate them. Here we have a similar, if weaker situation. People just need to stop confusing using and mentioning the word "negro". Or was it "nigger"? I really don't know.
throwaway210222 6y ago
> Because life shouldn't be spent afraid to apologize Unless by apologising you start a new process of (often absurd) penalties that you cannot control. Exactly why lawyers instruct people to never apologise or admit fault in even the smallest fender benders. Never mind offending the woke.