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This is also terrible advice in a different way. You are correct that nothing you do can really make the pain better. But as someone that recently lost my mom,
by prmph 6y ago
This is also terrible advice in a different way. You are correct that nothing you do can really make the pain better.
But as someone that recently lost my mom, I can tell for a fact: real, practical help makes a real difference. Common sense things like help with sorting out the affairs of the loved one, cooking meals or shopping for the bereaved person, help with planning a memorial, etc. And you don’t know to do these things by asking: “If there is anything I can do, please let me know...” Especially if you are close to the bereaved person, the about one of the worst things you can say. You usually know about some things you do to help without being a busybody. I took those who said that as being unwilling to provide any help whatsoever.
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]
- throwanem 6y agoI mean, if you're close to the bereaved, this advice isn't for you. In that case you presumably already know what you can be doing and are doing it. This is for people who don't know what they should be doing, because they're not in a close enough relationship to have that kind of meaningful role. Somebody like that can still help, for sure. If nothing else, there's always at least some unskilled setup and teardown work to do for a funeral and a wake. If someone is the kind of person who looks for ways to be of genuine help, they'll find them no matter what anyone else says. They don't need this advice. If someone isn't, at least this advice, if taken, might stop them doing harm.