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I appreciate your comment and I agree with what you are proposing with your hypotheses. But what caused my loss in confidence? -> my hair loss. I know you're t

I appreciate your comment and I agree with what you are proposing with your hypotheses. But what caused my loss in confidence? -> my hair loss. I know you're trying to come at this from a "things could be worse" perspective but at 23 years old, losing your hair has been traumatic and is pretty much social suicide lol. Life is unfair and I get that but my hair loss will get to a point where I'm going to have to try 10x as hard in terms of making new relationship, progressing in my career, and just making a good overall impression. Pretty privilege is a thing and I'm about to start experience not having it anymore. And while it is only one factor, it's a big factor when you are 23 years old considering a majority of the men my age have a full head of hair. I credit my obsession over this superficial disease to my perfectionism and the idea that I simply don't want to be the bald guy. I just don't. I'm not ready for it now and I'm not sure if I'll ever be ready for it. I'm done with posting about my hair loss for now because while it feels good to know that I'm alone, it's not going to change the fact that my life is about to get more difficult.

mft_ 6y ago
(No idea whether you'll read this, but...) > I know you're trying to come at this from a "things could be worse" perspective Nope, not really, I get that it matters, and how it matters. I have two related points: 1) It matters, but it definitely doesn't matter to the magnitude that you think it does, right now - it's just one of many factors that matter. Yep, you've lost this one, so rely on your other good areas and if it helps your mindset, find some others to optimise instead. (Like, lose weight, or get ripped, get a better tan, etc.) 2) More importantly, though, your response to losing your hair is self-sabotaging: by taking it so badly, and so obviously losing confidence as a result, you're massively exacerbating the effect. Your response to your hair-loss is what is causing "...pretty much social suicide" - not the hair loss itself. One day, I suspect you'll come through how you're currently feeling (with or without therapy?) and you'll probably have forgotten this exchange, but you'll see I'm right. But given the fickle nature of confidence, I totally get that you can't believe that right now. PS read The Game [0] - not for the PUA nonsense, but for Neil Strauss' account of losing his hair, and how his mentality changed about it over time. -- (Also, as an aside, I really like your concept of 'pretty privilege'. My GF is a lot more attractive, and also a lot more immediately engaging, than me; it's been enlightening to watch how different her experience of the world is, to mine.) [0] https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060554738 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060554738

mft_ 6y ago

(No idea whether you'll read this, but...) > I know you're trying to come at this from a "things could be worse" perspective Nope, not really, I get that it matters, and how it matters. I have two related points: 1) It matters, but it definitely doesn't matter to the magnitude that you think it does, right now - it's just one of many factors that matter. Yep, you've lost this one, so rely on your other good areas and if it helps your mindset, find some others to optimise instead. (Like, lose weight, or get ripped, get a better tan, etc.) 2) More importantly, though, your response to losing your hair is self-sabotaging: by taking it so badly, and so obviously losing confidence as a result, you're massively exacerbating the effect. Your response to your hair-loss is what is causing "...pretty much social suicide" - not the hair loss itself. One day, I suspect you'll come through how you're currently feeling (with or without therapy?) and you'll probably have forgotten this exchange, but you'll see I'm right. But given the fickle nature of confidence, I totally get that you can't believe that right now. PS read The Game [0] - not for the PUA nonsense, but for Neil Strauss' account of losing his hair, and how his mentality changed about it over time. -- (Also, as an aside, I really like your concept of 'pretty privilege'. My GF is a lot more attractive, and also a lot more immediately engaging, than me; it's been enlightening to watch how different her experience of the world is, to mine.) [0] https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060554738 https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060554738