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Same place right here. I've been living WAY WAY below my means. I drive a 15 year old car, I live in a 1br apt (wife and I, 650 sqft). I've also been pushing f

Same place right here. I've been living WAY WAY below my means. I drive a 15 year old car, I live in a 1br apt (wife and I, 650 sqft). I've also been pushing forward in my career with as much zeal as I can muster. I'm also putting my wife through grad school (though she'll never make much, English degree - I'm just glad I can enable her to chase her passions) I don't have high other bills, currently have an iPhone 7 and don't plan to upgrade, my PC is 8 years old, etc. I've managed to just this year save up the down payment for houses in my area... but it's kinda dumb, because I really can't afford a house (mortgage/higher utilities/repairs/etc). So I'm in limbo: I have a LOT of cash saved, that should be invested (especially now), but I might buy a house in 5 years so I keep it liquid. I also want to say that I tied home ownership (or at least living in a house) to having children - I don't want the stress of bothering my neighbors on top of child stress. So I haven't started a family, and I don't see a path to starting one. I think I have been priced out of having a family and it makes me so so sad. At least I'm a dev, my non-dev friends may as well not even bother getting up in the morning. They will never, ever, ever gain enough capital to be a owner. If their parents are broke, they'll die having only lived in apartments. This also makes me very sad. I don't see prices going down. I guess I could move, and I am kind of planning a remote/low cost play after COVID is over and I can get an understanding of how stable remote work is. I'd hate to be stuck in the boonies of South Dakota looking for a dev job because things "went back to normal". Holding pattern forever.

Kalium 6y ago
> I also want to say that I tied home ownership (or at least living in a house) to having children - I don't want the stress of bothering my neighbors on top of child stress. So I haven't started a family, and I don't see a path to starting one. I think I have been priced out of having a family and it makes me so so sad. I see this a lot. Generally I see it from people who were raised outside urban areas, with a very white-picket-fence lifestyle. It turns into a great deal of stress in people's lives and relationships, as they often literally cannot imagine having children without a detached single family house and a yard and so on. I've seen some of them take major financial risks to try and work up what feels like enough money, with depression resulting if doesn't work. The people I know who grew up in urban apartments often have none of these hangups. They regard occasionally hearing your neighbor's children as a fact of life.
- eulers_secret 6y ago
  That's interesting! I actually grew up in single-parent household, have never lived in a house, and certainly have heard my neighbors children. Not urban, but suburban apartments. I guess I buck the trend (or maybe I'm reaching too high :-P ) I've even thought that, after infancy, apartment living is potentially BETTER for kids. Reasoning that there are more nearby friends and usually a playground or field to play in. I certainly had lots of fun with the neighborhood kids in the pool/large field/playground on the apartment grounds when I was young. But, kids are noisy during quiet hours (before you can reasonably control them). I remember it being hard on my mom when my brother was young. Always 1/2 a step from eviction for noise complaints. I felt the stress as a child, I cannot imagine how hard it was on her. I don't want to do that...
  - souprock 6y ago
    I feel like human noises within your apartment should not be cause for eviction. If other people can listen to you, then the apartment is substandard and your privacy is at risk. Those walls are supposed to protect you from having neighbors casually spy on you. Now, it'd be different if you were experimenting with a pulse detonation wave engine. That would be worthy of eviction.
  - dragonwriter 6y ago
    > I've even thought that, after infancy, apartment living is potentially BETTER for kids. Reasoning that there are more nearby friends and usually a playground or field to play in. IME, nearby and safe playgrounds and fields are more common in suburban developments with single family homes than apartment complexes, either in urban areas or even in the same suburbs.
zaphod12 6y ago
Only comment is that keeping your money in cash instead of invested for a 5 year horizon isn't wise. Put them in something on the safer side - I'm not saying buy Bitcoin or something - but that's a long time to have your money not be working for you at all. Interest rates at way below inflation.
ficklepickle 6y ago
Please see a good financial professional (not a bank employee). You don't need to struggle through this alone. Any FP worth their salt should be able to make you significantly more than you pay them. And they will help you set your financial goals and reach them. My mom is an FP and she would sort you right out. That stress and uncertainty would be gone.

Kalium 6y ago

> I also want to say that I tied home ownership (or at least living in a house) to having children - I don't want the stress of bothering my neighbors on top of child stress. So I haven't started a family, and I don't see a path to starting one. I think I have been priced out of having a family and it makes me so so sad. I see this a lot. Generally I see it from people who were raised outside urban areas, with a very white-picket-fence lifestyle. It turns into a great deal of stress in people's lives and relationships, as they often literally cannot imagine having children without a detached single family house and a yard and so on. I've seen some of them take major financial risks to try and work up what feels like enough money, with depression resulting if doesn't work. The people I know who grew up in urban apartments often have none of these hangups. They regard occasionally hearing your neighbor's children as a fact of life.

eulers_secret 6y ago
That's interesting! I actually grew up in single-parent household, have never lived in a house, and certainly have heard my neighbors children. Not urban, but suburban apartments. I guess I buck the trend (or maybe I'm reaching too high :-P ) I've even thought that, after infancy, apartment living is potentially BETTER for kids. Reasoning that there are more nearby friends and usually a playground or field to play in. I certainly had lots of fun with the neighborhood kids in the pool/large field/playground on the apartment grounds when I was young. But, kids are noisy during quiet hours (before you can reasonably control them). I remember it being hard on my mom when my brother was young. Always 1/2 a step from eviction for noise complaints. I felt the stress as a child, I cannot imagine how hard it was on her. I don't want to do that...
- souprock 6y ago
  I feel like human noises within your apartment should not be cause for eviction. If other people can listen to you, then the apartment is substandard and your privacy is at risk. Those walls are supposed to protect you from having neighbors casually spy on you. Now, it'd be different if you were experimenting with a pulse detonation wave engine. That would be worthy of eviction.
- dragonwriter 6y ago
  > I've even thought that, after infancy, apartment living is potentially BETTER for kids. Reasoning that there are more nearby friends and usually a playground or field to play in. IME, nearby and safe playgrounds and fields are more common in suburban developments with single family homes than apartment complexes, either in urban areas or even in the same suburbs.

zaphod12 6y ago

Only comment is that keeping your money in cash instead of invested for a 5 year horizon isn't wise. Put them in something on the safer side - I'm not saying buy Bitcoin or something - but that's a long time to have your money not be working for you at all. Interest rates at way below inflation.

ficklepickle 6y ago

Please see a good financial professional (not a bank employee). You don't need to struggle through this alone. Any FP worth their salt should be able to make you significantly more than you pay them. And they will help you set your financial goals and reach them. My mom is an FP and she would sort you right out. That stress and uncertainty would be gone.