3 ms·

I'm confused... Why would I want to ignore something which resonates with me? Isn't that the whole point of "resonance" and "feelings", to use them to guide our

I'm confused... Why would I want to ignore something which resonates with me? Isn't that the whole point of "resonance" and "feelings", to use them to guide our reason? I would read the books on permissive parenting not to convince myself that it's right, but to find techniques and strategies which work.

AnimalMuppet 6y ago
In Zion National Park, there's a trail called Angels Landing. It goes up a ridge with a 500 foot dropoff on one side, and a 1000 foot dropoff on the other. The ridge between them is only a couple feet wide in places. I think of parenting that way - there's a cliff on one side (too much strictness, say), but don't back too far away from it, because there's also a cliff on the other side (too permissive). So when you see the cliff, don't back too far away from the cliff you see, because there's a cliff in the other direction too. So if you lean toward permissiveness, say, you don't need a book that warns you not to be too strict. You're already not going to be too strict. You need a book that warns you not to be too permissive. > Isn't that the whole point of "resonance" and "feelings", to use them to guide our reason? That only works if your feelings are more correct than your reason is. That happens, sometimes, but... I don't think it should be the default mode of operation. Reason alone can also lead you to absurd results. You need both, your feelings to know when you have reasoned yourself into a position that just doesn't fit, and your reason to know when your feelings are liars.
- forgotmypw17 6y ago
  I think that's a pretty extreme view... But when navigating a narrow ridge like that, books can wait and I'm definitely following my gut.
  - AnimalMuppet 6y ago
    Sure. But on the actual trail, you can see the edges. In parenting, you can't, and it takes you years to realize that you fell off it.
    - forgotmypw17 6y ago
      I certainly see what you're saying, and it's great to expose yourself to both side of the argument, but I don't agree that you should go against your gut feeling. Otherwise you put yourself at high risk doing stupid shit just because it is majority consensus du jour.

AnimalMuppet 6y ago

In Zion National Park, there's a trail called Angels Landing. It goes up a ridge with a 500 foot dropoff on one side, and a 1000 foot dropoff on the other. The ridge between them is only a couple feet wide in places. I think of parenting that way - there's a cliff on one side (too much strictness, say), but don't back too far away from it, because there's also a cliff on the other side (too permissive). So when you see the cliff, don't back too far away from the cliff you see, because there's a cliff in the other direction too. So if you lean toward permissiveness, say, you don't need a book that warns you not to be too strict. You're already not going to be too strict. You need a book that warns you not to be too permissive. > Isn't that the whole point of "resonance" and "feelings", to use them to guide our reason? That only works if your feelings are more correct than your reason is. That happens, sometimes, but... I don't think it should be the default mode of operation. Reason alone can also lead you to absurd results. You need both, your feelings to know when you have reasoned yourself into a position that just doesn't fit, and your reason to know when your feelings are liars.

forgotmypw17 6y ago
I think that's a pretty extreme view... But when navigating a narrow ridge like that, books can wait and I'm definitely following my gut.
- AnimalMuppet 6y ago
  Sure. But on the actual trail, you can see the edges. In parenting, you can't, and it takes you years to realize that you fell off it.
  - forgotmypw17 6y ago
    I certainly see what you're saying, and it's great to expose yourself to both side of the argument, but I don't agree that you should go against your gut feeling. Otherwise you put yourself at high risk doing stupid shit just because it is majority consensus du jour.