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Just want to chime in that when I was 23 I got no attention from women (mostly on dating apps). Now I'm 30 and the attention I get has skyrocketed. I'm losing h

by johnfn 6y ago

Just want to chime in that when I was 23 I got no attention from women (mostly on dating apps). Now I'm 30 and the attention I get has skyrocketed. I'm losing hair too - I've got the Bernie Sanders look going haha - so I think that there's a strong age component in there. Just wanted to throw that out there because I was seriously dejected a few years ago over this, but things have gotten better and better as I've gotten older.

fossuser 6y ago
Yeah I think this is a general truth (and it’s the inverse for women, where it starts easy and gets a little harder). Early twenties dating for men is hard, particularly in a skewed place like the bay area. If I had to guess it’d be about status (young men are pretty low status) and age preferences. If women generally prefer someone a couple years older, the ones that might be interested in you are in college when you’re 22 so are not really in the same dating market.
- hedgehawk 6y ago
  Yeah, I mean I just graduated and I went to school in the bay area. Dating was much more difficult for me during my senior year but maybe I just need to go for older women now lol.
  - fossuser 6y ago
    I guess I wouldn’t stress too much about it. It gets better.
hedgehawk 6y ago
I appreciate your story but you're pretty much telling me that my dating life is going to suck for a couple of more years but it'll eventually get better, lol. But I do understand where you are coming from. I'm hoping better treatments come out soon..
- johnfn 6y ago
  Is there anything wrong with that? Back when I was younger I just thought I was going to be ignored forever - I would have killed to know that that wasn't the case.
  - bitbuilder 6y ago
    >I would have killed to know that that wasn't the case. Same. It's actually pretty important information to know at that age, as it'll help prevent you from settling into a LTR with someone that you're not compatible with, because "I'll never do any better." I was most recently single at 43, and my dating prospects were pretty great compared to what I experienced at 22. If 22 year old had been able to foresee that, I would've saved myself quite a bit of grief.
    - badfaceshape 6y ago
      I am glad for you. This is maybe cold comfort for young people, unfortunately. Most prefer to settle down much before then or at least date first. Nobody wants to become the 40 year old virgin irl.
      - bitbuilder 6y ago
        Thanks! And solid point. But to be clear, there was certainly a wide spectrum of relationships between 22 and 43. For better or for worse. If I had to pick an age to tell my younger self to hold out for, it would probably be the early to mid 30s. That seems to be when I, and other guys I know, stopped being idiots and started taking care of ourselves. And in the process gained some self esteem and confidence.

by johnfn 6y ago

fossuser 6y ago

Yeah I think this is a general truth (and it’s the inverse for women, where it starts easy and gets a little harder). Early twenties dating for men is hard, particularly in a skewed place like the bay area. If I had to guess it’d be about status (young men are pretty low status) and age preferences. If women generally prefer someone a couple years older, the ones that might be interested in you are in college when you’re 22 so are not really in the same dating market.

hedgehawk 6y ago
Yeah, I mean I just graduated and I went to school in the bay area. Dating was much more difficult for me during my senior year but maybe I just need to go for older women now lol.
- fossuser 6y ago
  I guess I wouldn’t stress too much about it. It gets better.

hedgehawk 6y ago

I appreciate your story but you're pretty much telling me that my dating life is going to suck for a couple of more years but it'll eventually get better, lol. But I do understand where you are coming from. I'm hoping better treatments come out soon..

johnfn 6y ago
Is there anything wrong with that? Back when I was younger I just thought I was going to be ignored forever - I would have killed to know that that wasn't the case.
- bitbuilder 6y ago
  >I would have killed to know that that wasn't the case. Same. It's actually pretty important information to know at that age, as it'll help prevent you from settling into a LTR with someone that you're not compatible with, because "I'll never do any better." I was most recently single at 43, and my dating prospects were pretty great compared to what I experienced at 22. If 22 year old had been able to foresee that, I would've saved myself quite a bit of grief.
  - badfaceshape 6y ago
    I am glad for you. This is maybe cold comfort for young people, unfortunately. Most prefer to settle down much before then or at least date first. Nobody wants to become the 40 year old virgin irl.
    - bitbuilder 6y ago
      Thanks! And solid point. But to be clear, there was certainly a wide spectrum of relationships between 22 and 43. For better or for worse. If I had to pick an age to tell my younger self to hold out for, it would probably be the early to mid 30s. That seems to be when I, and other guys I know, stopped being idiots and started taking care of ourselves. And in the process gained some self esteem and confidence.