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Here in Canada it’s sometimes discouraged and criticized to co-sleep, too. I was born here and had never even heard of co-sleeping until I was in my mid twentie

Here in Canada it’s sometimes discouraged and criticized to co-sleep, too. I was born here and had never even heard of co-sleeping until I was in my mid twenties. I found it pretty intuitive too, but got some flack from people over it. After 3 kids I don’t really care about the criticisms anymore. They stop co-sleeping when they’re ready, and it was as simple as that. I mostly enjoyed it. Sometimes you miss having a bed to yourself though, haha.

itsmemattchung 6y ago
> After 3 kids I don’t really care about the criticisms anymore Even after having one kid, I too no longer care about the criticisms. We're all just trying to survive.
meowster 6y ago
> but got some flack from people How do they even know you're co-sleeping in the first place?
- germinalphrase 6y ago
  People are often curious about kids and child raising choices (or at least that has been our experience with our first). It comes up when talking about kids, when people are visiting our home, babysitting, etc.
- zekrioca 6y ago
  The person probably shared private parenting habits and received such criticism..
  - steve_adams_86 6y ago
    Of course I shared private parenting habits - parents often discuss various approaches to problems or daily life. I didn't share without being prompted, though. I keep most private things to myself in person. If sleeping came up and I mentioned co-sleeping, people were often critical. They think it's bad for the kid, dangerous, unnecessary, what have you. I don't mind the criticism; I think it's helpful to know how people feel and reflect on my own decisions. People are remarkably harsh with their criticisms when it comes to parenting sometimes, but I think this reflects how uncertain, even insecure and anxious people feel about the decisions we need to make as parents. It's fine.
    - zekrioca 6y ago
      Yes, I’m not in any way judging or criticizing your decision to share your parenting habits, specially after being prompted. What I dislike sometimes is others trying to control at all times how parents should grow a kid. This will ultimately be passed over to kids, which may then propagate this behavior. Life, I guess.
- seszett 6y ago
  Other parents usually ask questions on what how you are doing, what you are doing, etc, and unless you flat out refuse to answer the questions (which seems rude) or outright lie, then they will eventually learn that your kids are sleeping in your bed.
hef19898 6y ago
You definetly learn a lot by having kids. The first kid, you measure water temp, the second kid you just put your finger in. The third one, just the kid. Slightly exagerating, but by the second kid you don't have to relly as much any more on outside advice.
- throwaway0a5e 6y ago
  Kid 4 you just put in minimum effort because you after three sons/daughters you were trying to get the other but got more of the same. If kid 4 does the best of the bunch then you know your parenting probably wasn't that great.
altacc 6y ago
The advice against co-sleeping is a typical simplification of advice, where nuance is removed and all parents should receive the same, simple advice. Peter Blair, based at the University of Bristol, has done some great work studying deaths caused by co-sleeping and found some very important factors, mainly the health of the child, any modifiers of the parent's sleep and the sleeping position. For example, drug use by the parents (including alcohol, cigarettes, over the counter & prescription medicine), making them sleep heavier. Also falling asleep on the sofa or a pillow near the child. So much parenting advice is one-size-fits-none and it takes quite a bit of effort to work out the reality. Luckily, with a baby in arms there's often a lot of time available for reading the many opinions out there. ;)

itsmemattchung 6y ago

> After 3 kids I don’t really care about the criticisms anymore Even after having one kid, I too no longer care about the criticisms. We're all just trying to survive.

meowster 6y ago

> but got some flack from people How do they even know you're co-sleeping in the first place?

germinalphrase 6y ago
People are often curious about kids and child raising choices (or at least that has been our experience with our first). It comes up when talking about kids, when people are visiting our home, babysitting, etc.
zekrioca 6y ago
The person probably shared private parenting habits and received such criticism..
- steve_adams_86 6y ago
  Of course I shared private parenting habits - parents often discuss various approaches to problems or daily life. I didn't share without being prompted, though. I keep most private things to myself in person. If sleeping came up and I mentioned co-sleeping, people were often critical. They think it's bad for the kid, dangerous, unnecessary, what have you. I don't mind the criticism; I think it's helpful to know how people feel and reflect on my own decisions. People are remarkably harsh with their criticisms when it comes to parenting sometimes, but I think this reflects how uncertain, even insecure and anxious people feel about the decisions we need to make as parents. It's fine.
  - zekrioca 6y ago
    Yes, I’m not in any way judging or criticizing your decision to share your parenting habits, specially after being prompted. What I dislike sometimes is others trying to control at all times how parents should grow a kid. This will ultimately be passed over to kids, which may then propagate this behavior. Life, I guess.
seszett 6y ago
Other parents usually ask questions on what how you are doing, what you are doing, etc, and unless you flat out refuse to answer the questions (which seems rude) or outright lie, then they will eventually learn that your kids are sleeping in your bed.

hef19898 6y ago

You definetly learn a lot by having kids. The first kid, you measure water temp, the second kid you just put your finger in. The third one, just the kid. Slightly exagerating, but by the second kid you don't have to relly as much any more on outside advice.

throwaway0a5e 6y ago
Kid 4 you just put in minimum effort because you after three sons/daughters you were trying to get the other but got more of the same. If kid 4 does the best of the bunch then you know your parenting probably wasn't that great.

altacc 6y ago

The advice against co-sleeping is a typical simplification of advice, where nuance is removed and all parents should receive the same, simple advice. Peter Blair, based at the University of Bristol, has done some great work studying deaths caused by co-sleeping and found some very important factors, mainly the health of the child, any modifiers of the parent's sleep and the sleeping position. For example, drug use by the parents (including alcohol, cigarettes, over the counter & prescription medicine), making them sleep heavier. Also falling asleep on the sofa or a pillow near the child. So much parenting advice is one-size-fits-none and it takes quite a bit of effort to work out the reality. Luckily, with a baby in arms there's often a lot of time available for reading the many opinions out there. ;)