4 ms·

If you're viewing everything through a rational and sterile lens (and probably, a privileged lens), it makes a huge deal of sense to just avoid "contentious" te

by Niksko 6y ago

If you're viewing everything through a rational and sterile lens (and probably, a privileged lens), it makes a huge deal of sense to just avoid "contentious" terms. It's no skin off your back, and it makes it more likely that you're able to maintain social decorum when interacting with people. And maintaining social decorum is probably pretty high on your list of things you care about. If you're from a marginalised group, I don't think just "avoiding contentious terms" is so easy. There's an emotional aspect to things. There a probably groups with "contentious" labels that want you dead, or want your rights removed. This has probably affected people you love and care about. Maintaining social decorum by not putting people off-side is low on the list of things you care about. You've got bigger fish to fry, and using these marginalised terms to mark yourself as part of the in group probably serves a coping purpose as well as a safety purpose (to easily identify those that will marginalise you, because they are quick to be angered by your "contentious" terms).

Clewza313 6y ago
The downvotes you're getting here (not from me, mind you) are illustrating the author's point very well. Intentionally or not, you're using so many "contentious terms" (privileged, marginalised group, etc) that a lot of people are tuning out and ignoring what you're actually trying to convey. Stripped of the baggage, I think you're trying to say that it's hard for minorities to avoid using contentious terms for issues that affect them, and that they shouldn't have do that extra work just to avoid "putting people off-side"? While I sympathize, I also think that's a false dichotomy: if you want to be heard, you need to phrase yourself in a way that others will understand, and that's true for everybody. And if you don't want to be heard, well, then you're just (contentious term trigger warning) virtue signalling to others on "your" side.
- sebastialonso 6y ago
  What I think grandparent comment should think is: is it more important to convey my idea or to show that I'm part of a group? Both do well for different contexts. Probably choosing one for every context is a terrible idea. As that saying goes: "if wearing a tie or not is more important than to pitch your idea, then your idea wasn't that important to begin with" edit: parent -> grandparent
- danaris 6y ago
  I think part of the problem here is that, for some groups of people, they can use "the right words" all they want, but their very existence is offensive to other groups of people, who want them either dead or to pretend they're "normal" (by certain standards). Of course, for many of these groups, even just using "the right words" to try to talk to the people who want to take away their right to exist means using words that denigrate and dehumanize them.
trabant00 6y ago
> to easily identify those that will marginalise you, because they are quick to be angered by your "contentious" terms So in other words: "The fact that you defend yourself proves you're guilty!"

by Niksko 6y ago

Clewza313 6y ago

The downvotes you're getting here (not from me, mind you) are illustrating the author's point very well. Intentionally or not, you're using so many "contentious terms" (privileged, marginalised group, etc) that a lot of people are tuning out and ignoring what you're actually trying to convey. Stripped of the baggage, I think you're trying to say that it's hard for minorities to avoid using contentious terms for issues that affect them, and that they shouldn't have do that extra work just to avoid "putting people off-side"? While I sympathize, I also think that's a false dichotomy: if you want to be heard, you need to phrase yourself in a way that others will understand, and that's true for everybody. And if you don't want to be heard, well, then you're just (contentious term trigger warning) virtue signalling to others on "your" side.

sebastialonso 6y ago
What I think grandparent comment should think is: is it more important to convey my idea or to show that I'm part of a group? Both do well for different contexts. Probably choosing one for every context is a terrible idea. As that saying goes: "if wearing a tie or not is more important than to pitch your idea, then your idea wasn't that important to begin with" edit: parent -> grandparent
danaris 6y ago
I think part of the problem here is that, for some groups of people, they can use "the right words" all they want, but their very existence is offensive to other groups of people, who want them either dead or to pretend they're "normal" (by certain standards). Of course, for many of these groups, even just using "the right words" to try to talk to the people who want to take away their right to exist means using words that denigrate and dehumanize them.

trabant00 6y ago

> to easily identify those that will marginalise you, because they are quick to be angered by your "contentious" terms So in other words: "The fact that you defend yourself proves you're guilty!"