> Right, but you see how it took multiple back and forwards to even clarify what you wanted to achieve? Luckily we're in this together having a conversation wi

> Right, but you see how it took multiple back and forwards to even clarify what you wanted to achieve? Luckily we're in this together having a conversation with an interest in achieving mutual clarity. > I need to first That's ok! You should feel comfortable expressing your needs. That's the nature of discourse. I guess if I were to turn your argument back around on you I would say "you could have expressed your need from the start." But nobody but me is inside my head and nobody but you is inside your head, and neither of us knows what the other needs until we tell the other. So we do our best to get there eventually. I tell you that your chosen name doesn't make sense to me and propose an alternative that does. Maybe you say "ok, that works for me too", or maybe you say "that doesn't work for me but if you tell me more about the problem maybe there's another alternative." That's how teamwork goes. But if my alternative suggestion _does_ also communicate to the other person but they demand that I convince them anyway because they want to be "right", well, then that person is just being hostile and defensive, which makes being on a team more difficult.