Frankly, why would I care if it confuses someone else? My spouse and I don't make important decisions vis-a-vis our relationship, on the basis of other people's

Frankly, why would I care if it confuses someone else? My spouse and I don't make important decisions vis-a-vis our relationship, on the basis of other people's convenience. The "problems" you describe are just...nonexistent, and really not a big deal. I have literally never encountered confusion about our marital status, problems with forms, or difficulty being introduced.