4 ms·
Being married to a woman with her own last name, and a stepdaughter with her own last name, I can tell you that none of what you describe is really a problem.
by swaits 6y ago
Being married to a woman with her own last name, and a stepdaughter with her own last name, I can tell you that none of what you describe is really a problem.
In fact, it’s worked well enough for us that if we were to have another child we’d consider giving him or her a different last name again instead of picking one of the three we already have.
- cmrdporcupine 6y agoIndeed we haven't run into many problems. Maybe an annoyance now and then such as a relative (usually one of hers, ironically) that assumes she has my last name and sends cards or letters to Mrs XXX. In fact some of them know she kept her maiden name but are conservative enough to find this somehow offensive enough that they give her my last name. (Again, weird, what's wrong with the last name she shares with them.) (The only reason we sometimes wish she'd change her name is that hers is extremely common, and so she's constantly getting mixups with other people with the same name and has to sign things every time we buy a house or get a loan, etc. to say she isn't that other XXX YYY that has the bad credit rating or outstanding loan or criminal record, etc.)
- michaericalribo 6y agoWow! I'd argue it's offensive—or at least quite rude—to willfully ignore someone's name. What gives someone else the right to determine what's best for me? How patronizing!
- cmrdporcupine 6y agoYep. And her own father was a bit put off by her choice. Weird, as its his own name she's keeping. Okay, well, probably the name of a slaveholding ancestor in the south, actually, but I doubt that factors into any of his thoughts. What's weird is these are people with generally left-wing political views, and socially liberal on most things. But on women's issues, pretty backwards. It weirds me out.
- michaericalribo 6y agoI'll admit that I consider myself "generally left-wing...and social liberally", and it was a real cognitive disconnect when my wife didn't want to take my name...It's such an ingrained tradition, so it required serious self-reflection to get to the bottom of my own reaction.