5 ms·
The whole stay-abroad until you see "their" point of view is admirable. The flip side is that after that, you can never really go home. I mean obviously you can
by frossie 15y ago
The whole stay-abroad until you see "their" point of view is admirable. The flip side is that after that, you can never really go home. I mean obviously you can physically, but you give up your ability to fit in with your own people. This may or may not be a downside for you, but something to be aware of.
Anyway, congratulations on your move.
[edit in response to questions below: there is a big difference between living abroad for a few months a year or a couple of years and doing what the OP is suggesting - living abroad for long enough that your adult life is permanently established abroad. There is a turning point (in my experience around 15 years) at which point you have lived away from your family and old friends (which is what I meant by own people) that your different experiences come to overshadow your old similarities, especially if there are significant cultural differences. For an academic example imagine a woman from Saudi Arabia where women are not allowed even to drive living and working in the US for 20 years integrated in normal US life. It is unlikely she can ever return home and slot back as if she has never left. Americans are not exempt from this phenomenon - as can be reported by expats living in Europe going home to visit their families and ending up in epic arguments over US foreign policy. I live surrounded by expats (not short term visitors) from many countries and they would all report various degrees of this. Basically, once you become a citizen of the world, any one country and culture can come to be seen as parochial).
- cglee 15y agoThe whole point I believe is to remove the notion of "your own people". Therefore, you "fit in" anywhere.
- hessenwolf 15y agoI would argue you thus fit in nowhere, and that that can be okay too.
- tommi 15y agoAre you arguing that you can only fit in to one place in your life? Fitting in is only a feeling after all.
- hessenwolf 15y agoNo. I think you can have several versions of your own people.
- lotusleaf1987 15y agoWhy is it necessary to "give up your ability to fit in with your own people" to understand another culture? Why would understanding America and Singapore mutually exclusive? I know people who have lived abroad for a few years and returned--they weren't fundamentally changed or different, same person new life experiences is all.
- jacobolus 15y ago> you give up your ability to fit in with your own people This is both true and not true. I have spent something like a quarter of my total life (in 2-3 month chunks mostly) living in Mexico, and while I don’t feel like the “average” American, exactly, I always feel like I can really relax once I’m back in the US. Even though I feel mostly at home in Mexico, I always need to keep a bit on guard, gestures and inflections (not to mention cultural references) pass over my head, I have to stop and think about what I’m doing. In the US (and especially in Southern CA), I am just fluent in day-to-day life. Anyway, it sounds like you have some personal experience with feeling separated from your home country/culture. Care to share?
- rickdangerous1 15y agoYes I agree with this, based on my personal experiences. It's called "reverse culture shock". The degree to which you experience it is a lot to do with how integrated you become in the foreign society.