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It's a tricky one... On the one hand I think teenagers (and some adults) don't always know they are being jerks / making others uncomfortable. And for them it m

It's a tricky one... On the one hand I think teenagers (and some adults) don't always know they are being jerks / making others uncomfortable. And for them it might be fun to pick on others. It can be a thrill and give them an ego boost. They might not get how damaging /horrible they are being or might not care. On the other hand, some people may have no experience of defending themselves particularly against non-verbal attacks. I remember my response to a guy picking on me in highschool was to wait until class finished and then I started a fight with. I won. And he never bothered me again. But honestly I had no clue how to defend myself verbally. And it's taken years to learn how to be better at that. I think teenagers would gain from learning how to negotiate better with their peers/handle people better. It's the verbal abuse that's a particular issue. Encouraging people to be decent along with civic classes may help too.

SunlightEdge 6y ago
"particularly against verbal attacks" that should be.
loopz 6y ago
It speaks of failed group dynamics, which you get when you let kids loose on eachother. This is the responsibility of adults.
anonymousDan 6y ago
Yeah I think you're quite right that it's important to be able to defend yourself verbally, either using your wits, humour or by defusing a situation without losing face
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sethammons 6y ago
I had some trouble with bullying in school being malnourished, poor, a social outcast, and relatively smart. Your verbal defense note struck a memory. Sometime mid high school, my two friends and I went to pick up a friend from a raging house party. While waiting outside for them, a drunken footballer came over to us nerds and started to point at us, calling us losers. I, uncharacteristically, retorted back with false confidence, “yeah? I get laid more than you.” He was stunned and left me alone while he picked on the other two a bit more. I had forgotten about that one. I don’t think verbal defense would always work, however. I don’t think it would have prevented the one asshole-psychopath who, years earlier, was a few grades older than me and locked me in an older refrigerator and when I finally got out, chased me and threw a hatchet at me.
uglygoblin 6y ago
I had similar experiences in high school where I was bullied constantly but the only way I knew to deal with it was by fighting back aggressively (verbally and physically). It sometimes stopped them from bullying me more directly but usually ended with me getting in trouble and being labeled crazy. This led to counselors and people telling me I had anger/emotional issues and I should just ignore the bullies. There's wisdom in ignoring haters and self-coping mechanisms but as a teenager in a forced social system it's not a great answer. This was the 90's. I hope society/adults have better responses now but I doubt it.

SunlightEdge 6y ago

"particularly against verbal attacks" that should be.

loopz 6y ago

It speaks of failed group dynamics, which you get when you let kids loose on eachother. This is the responsibility of adults.

anonymousDan 6y ago

Yeah I think you're quite right that it's important to be able to defend yourself verbally, either using your wits, humour or by defusing a situation without losing face

deleted 6y ago
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sethammons 6y ago

I had some trouble with bullying in school being malnourished, poor, a social outcast, and relatively smart. Your verbal defense note struck a memory. Sometime mid high school, my two friends and I went to pick up a friend from a raging house party. While waiting outside for them, a drunken footballer came over to us nerds and started to point at us, calling us losers. I, uncharacteristically, retorted back with false confidence, “yeah? I get laid more than you.” He was stunned and left me alone while he picked on the other two a bit more. I had forgotten about that one. I don’t think verbal defense would always work, however. I don’t think it would have prevented the one asshole-psychopath who, years earlier, was a few grades older than me and locked me in an older refrigerator and when I finally got out, chased me and threw a hatchet at me.

uglygoblin 6y ago

I had similar experiences in high school where I was bullied constantly but the only way I knew to deal with it was by fighting back aggressively (verbally and physically). It sometimes stopped them from bullying me more directly but usually ended with me getting in trouble and being labeled crazy. This led to counselors and people telling me I had anger/emotional issues and I should just ignore the bullies. There's wisdom in ignoring haters and self-coping mechanisms but as a teenager in a forced social system it's not a great answer. This was the 90's. I hope society/adults have better responses now but I doubt it.