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Lockdown has allowed me to properly realize how much I really do not care about going out. I may enjoy social outings, and for a while I used to have weekly sch

by jorl17 6y ago

Lockdown has allowed me to properly realize how much I really do not care about going out. I may enjoy social outings, and for a while I used to have weekly scheduled social outings having much fun in them. In spite of that, I've always been "homey", and I've always been very affected by going out multiple times -- especially weekends. It just drains me and physically exhausts me. Weekends should be sacred. I absolutely hate going out in them. It screws my whole week. Thus, lockdown has not impacted me negatively in the slightest. At least not directly (it has indirectly through the mental health of those around me). I really do not care about going out. Even more so than I thought. I like it this way, and I think that while I knew I could stay "home" for long periods, and liked it, I was never aware just how much I really am not affected by "staying home". I have basically been living for almost a year in a "leave the house on average 0.75 times per week", and for at most 4 hours. In a week, I go out an average of 3 hours. I live just fine. Some of my close friends who considered themselves to be just like me are slowly going a bit crazy. I guess it's not even their need to go out, but the fact that they _know_ they can't. I understand other people function in other ways. I'm sorry if you're in this group (or your loved ones). Nevertheless, to me, I just really don't feel the impact at all. If anything, having other people "live more like me" has made my life somewhat better, because they can empathize with me more and because the whole world has become "easier to live in", more adapted to my ways of living. Mind you, this doesn't mean I can live anywhere because I live "mostly remotely, and mostly in my head". I live 5 minutes from my parents (and for a while I was living 1h away from them). Even though I may not go there every day, not even every week or every two weeks, the fact that I'm here gives me immense happiness and calmness. Staying at home does not mean not caring about my immediate and even my "nearish" surroundings.

0xffff2 6y ago
Glad to see I'm not the only one. I've seen so many posts across the internet along the lines of "I'm a total loner, but I can hardly take it anymore". Meanwhile, I'm definitely an introvert, but not even that much of a loner and I'm doing just fine.
- solosoyokaze 6y ago
  I'm an introvert that's doing fine as well. As long as we're talking about positives (which we should!) I'd say no business travel is the #1 benefit for me. I've gone from being forced to take a dozen trips a year to zero. It's been wonderful. No more rushing around filthy airports, crammed next to strangers for hours in coach, disgusting hotel rooms... all in the name of my job. I quite frankly hope business travel never returns. Better for the environment too.
saberdancer 6y ago
I feel the same way. Not sure if it is completely due to my psyche or the fact that I have a partner and a child. That's a lot of social interaction. If I lived alone, I might feel differently. Hard to tell. I did notice a bunch of people who got really anxious. They were pro lockdown then against, then again pro and they were noticeably nervous and unhappy.
ryantgtg 6y ago
I feel a fair amount of guilt about this. I live with my spouse and toddler, and not having a commute and spending lots of time with my daughter everyday has been great. Also, it’s now easy for me to fit in exercise every day, so I’m in the best shape I’ve been in in a while. When relatives ask how I’m doing, I immediately say, “Great!” But then I realize - oops, I should probably give a less selfish response, and acknowledge that the grandma I’m speaking to is perpetually bummed because she can’t see her daughter (which I absolutely believe sucks). On the original topic: I’ve always thought that Baldur’s Gate did a good job with their atmospheric music. That’s usually my go-to when I want to listen to “tavern sounds.” It basically sounds like the Prancing Pony from Fellowship. And there are lots of similar options on YouTube. It’s fun background music!
- steve_adams_86 6y ago
  In my opinion - Don’t give a less selfish response, it’s good if you’re doing great. Don’t feel ashamed or selfish for being in a healthy state. But of course, don’t hold back your sympathy either. You’re in a good place to offer support to those around you. I think this is an important facet of how humans work together, personally.
  - kelnos 6y ago
    Yeah, agreed. I think it's a sort of "read the room" type situation. If it feels like the person you're talking to really needs some commiseration, downplay your good mood. Otherwise, being in a good mood yourself could help boost the other person's spirits.
- jorl17 6y ago
  You have no idea how much I feel the same too. I sometimes journal my thoughts, and I have a bit of my journal here to share with you which reflects exactly what you mentioned about "feeling bad about feeling good": --- For most people, (...) 2020 was a mostly terrible year. A dark spot in the book of life, filled with misery, missing loved ones, habit changes and an overall feeling of “this is too bad, too fast”. For some, it’s like we’re still in 2019, ending in a shitty way. For others, it’s like a pit of awfulness that’s been going on forever and doesn’t seem to end. I can’t say I relate, though. I’m sorry if you’re reading this and you’re one of those people, but I just can’t relate. (...) 2020 sucked for these people. Some lost their job. Some lost their routines — and to some people routine _really is important_. But 2020 didn’t suck for me. Or, rather, it didn’t suck as much. Sure, 2020 still sucked in many ways, but they’re not really that related to the pandemic we’re living. Maybe they are indirectly (...), but I cannot personally say that I felt really negatively affected by the pandemic. Some things still hit me, but many didn’t. It feels like I’m committing some kind of heresy by saying this, but it’s true. I _feel bad_ that 2020 didn’t _make me feel bad_. But, really, it didn’t. (...) This was 2020. COVID didn’t really mess with me directly. I already worked remotely most of the time. Here’s how COVID has impacted my life, in the most blunt honesty I can have: - It enabled me to be much more easily socially accepted when I wanted to do remote meetings. - It enabled me to multitask: I can do many tasks at home (dishes, clothes, etc) while having remote meetings without my camera on. - It made it so that instead of going every weekend to visit (...) family, we started doing it much more sporadically (...). - It reduced the amount of traffic on the street, noise around the house, etc. (...) Personally, COVID didn’t do much for my life. You could very fairly make the point that, in terms of my _direct personal life_, it bettered it. I didn’t really stop doing things I liked. Sure, we can’t really go out or go to concerts, but I don’t need that. I have never needed that. Similarly, I stopped hanging out with my friends, and while I’d like to do that, I’m at a stage of my life where I don’t need it. It’s not a part of my personality. I don’t need to go out. I don’t want to go out most of the time. (...) I don’t _need_ to go out. I can stay for months inside my home just fine. ---

by jorl17 6y ago

0xffff2 6y ago

Glad to see I'm not the only one. I've seen so many posts across the internet along the lines of "I'm a total loner, but I can hardly take it anymore". Meanwhile, I'm definitely an introvert, but not even that much of a loner and I'm doing just fine.

solosoyokaze 6y ago
I'm an introvert that's doing fine as well. As long as we're talking about positives (which we should!) I'd say no business travel is the #1 benefit for me. I've gone from being forced to take a dozen trips a year to zero. It's been wonderful. No more rushing around filthy airports, crammed next to strangers for hours in coach, disgusting hotel rooms... all in the name of my job. I quite frankly hope business travel never returns. Better for the environment too.

saberdancer 6y ago

I feel the same way. Not sure if it is completely due to my psyche or the fact that I have a partner and a child. That's a lot of social interaction. If I lived alone, I might feel differently. Hard to tell. I did notice a bunch of people who got really anxious. They were pro lockdown then against, then again pro and they were noticeably nervous and unhappy.

ryantgtg 6y ago

I feel a fair amount of guilt about this. I live with my spouse and toddler, and not having a commute and spending lots of time with my daughter everyday has been great. Also, it’s now easy for me to fit in exercise every day, so I’m in the best shape I’ve been in in a while. When relatives ask how I’m doing, I immediately say, “Great!” But then I realize - oops, I should probably give a less selfish response, and acknowledge that the grandma I’m speaking to is perpetually bummed because she can’t see her daughter (which I absolutely believe sucks). On the original topic: I’ve always thought that Baldur’s Gate did a good job with their atmospheric music. That’s usually my go-to when I want to listen to “tavern sounds.” It basically sounds like the Prancing Pony from Fellowship. And there are lots of similar options on YouTube. It’s fun background music!

steve_adams_86 6y ago
In my opinion - Don’t give a less selfish response, it’s good if you’re doing great. Don’t feel ashamed or selfish for being in a healthy state. But of course, don’t hold back your sympathy either. You’re in a good place to offer support to those around you. I think this is an important facet of how humans work together, personally.
- kelnos 6y ago
  Yeah, agreed. I think it's a sort of "read the room" type situation. If it feels like the person you're talking to really needs some commiseration, downplay your good mood. Otherwise, being in a good mood yourself could help boost the other person's spirits.
jorl17 6y ago
You have no idea how much I feel the same too. I sometimes journal my thoughts, and I have a bit of my journal here to share with you which reflects exactly what you mentioned about "feeling bad about feeling good": --- For most people, (...) 2020 was a mostly terrible year. A dark spot in the book of life, filled with misery, missing loved ones, habit changes and an overall feeling of “this is too bad, too fast”. For some, it’s like we’re still in 2019, ending in a shitty way. For others, it’s like a pit of awfulness that’s been going on forever and doesn’t seem to end. I can’t say I relate, though. I’m sorry if you’re reading this and you’re one of those people, but I just can’t relate. (...) 2020 sucked for these people. Some lost their job. Some lost their routines — and to some people routine _really is important_. But 2020 didn’t suck for me. Or, rather, it didn’t suck as much. Sure, 2020 still sucked in many ways, but they’re not really that related to the pandemic we’re living. Maybe they are indirectly (...), but I cannot personally say that I felt really negatively affected by the pandemic. Some things still hit me, but many didn’t. It feels like I’m committing some kind of heresy by saying this, but it’s true. I _feel bad_ that 2020 didn’t _make me feel bad_. But, really, it didn’t. (...) This was 2020. COVID didn’t really mess with me directly. I already worked remotely most of the time. Here’s how COVID has impacted my life, in the most blunt honesty I can have: - It enabled me to be much more easily socially accepted when I wanted to do remote meetings. - It enabled me to multitask: I can do many tasks at home (dishes, clothes, etc) while having remote meetings without my camera on. - It made it so that instead of going every weekend to visit (...) family, we started doing it much more sporadically (...). - It reduced the amount of traffic on the street, noise around the house, etc. (...) Personally, COVID didn’t do much for my life. You could very fairly make the point that, in terms of my _direct personal life_, it bettered it. I didn’t really stop doing things I liked. Sure, we can’t really go out or go to concerts, but I don’t need that. I have never needed that. Similarly, I stopped hanging out with my friends, and while I’d like to do that, I’m at a stage of my life where I don’t need it. It’s not a part of my personality. I don’t need to go out. I don’t want to go out most of the time. (...) I don’t _need_ to go out. I can stay for months inside my home just fine. ---