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Yeah, I agree. In his place, I either would have done nothing, or, maybe made a police report (not that I'd expect the police to actually do anything at this s

Yeah, I agree. In his place, I either would have done nothing, or, maybe made a police report (not that I'd expect the police to actually do anything at this stage). Generally speaking, the less you antagonize someone whose first exchange with you is "I will slaughter you," the better, IMO.

gspr 6y ago
> maybe made a police report (not that I'd expect the police to actually do anything at this stage). Indeed. But one shouldn't underestimate the chance that this wouldn't be the first report about this person. Lots of similar reports like this may actually cause them to do something.
- pmiller2 6y ago
  I agree, in the sense that someone who has done something of this nature is more likely to have done such a thing in the past. However, in this case, the victim is someone who is being targeted through his email address, which is embedded in open source software that's contained in gazillions of systems worldwide. That makes it significantly less likely that whomever he would report this to would have gotten another report about this particular individual.
arp242 6y ago
I once tried to have a conversation with a women who tried to drive me and my bicycle off the bus lane (where she shouldn't be driving in the first place); and shouted "fuck off you pissy little cunt" to me. For some reason I thought that if I explained my perspective, she would understand. It ended up with a broken back wheel (she kicked it) and a damaged phone (she took it out of my hand when I wanted to take a picture of the license plate and threw it on the ground). She was clearly unhinged, but I was stupid as well. I should of just let it go; no one who starts a social interaction with "pissy little cunt" is likely to be calmed down by reason. You have nothing to gain from trying, and much to potentially lose.
- javajosh 6y ago
  A sad sentiment of giving up, but I think it is premature to abandon your approach. I think it may be worth trying for that small-ish fraction (call it 10%?) of people who can be talked back from their anger. Those are good conversations to have for both parties, and worth trying to have, even if it results in failure 90% of the time. That said, I think the real lesson for you is: don't make yourself more vulnerable (e.g. letting her touch you or your stuff) if you decide to try to start a conversation! It also points to a theory I've been considering about personhood, and how people like your driver lady is in a mindstate where, in her mind, you're not a person. It's a very, very dangerous situation, because if they don't think you're a person, then there is nothing immoral about saying or doing anything to you, including violence.
  - arp242 6y ago
    > I think the real lesson for you is: don't make yourself more vulnerable (e.g. letting her touch you or your stuff) if you decide to try to start a conversation! I didn't "let" her, she just did it. I know you mean well and that you probably didn't intend it like this, but this comment comes off as victim blaming quite a bit. As for the rest: thus far I've never managed to talk random strangers down from these kind of rages; but maybe I just don't have the charm shrug Last time I tried was with my neighbour and he ended up calling the police three times over a four-day period on me. My crime? I kindly asked him to not play his music so loudly all day long at the start of the lockdown (especially at 7am) and not backing down when he tried to shout me away. I had "invaded his home" by knocking on his front door... This isn't a fit of anger, some people are just like this.
    - yetihehe 6y ago
      Yeah, had a neighbour lady like this recently. She was always closing her doors VERY loudly (lamps in my aartment were ringing) and when there was some argument with another neighbour, she eventually said that it was I who started banging doors. My best comparison for arguing with such people is like playing chess with pidgeon. It will throw off pieces, shit on board and be happy that it won. And you will be appaled that it didn't follow any rules, angry maybe, but is there any use to all that arguing? They will bring you down emotionally and then you only argue to have a feeling of winning. No meritoric discussion whatsoever. In such situations, just remember, that arguing with them will NOT have any utility or lasting value, it will just waste your time and mental health.

gspr 6y ago

> maybe made a police report (not that I'd expect the police to actually do anything at this stage). Indeed. But one shouldn't underestimate the chance that this wouldn't be the first report about this person. Lots of similar reports like this may actually cause them to do something.

pmiller2 6y ago
I agree, in the sense that someone who has done something of this nature is more likely to have done such a thing in the past. However, in this case, the victim is someone who is being targeted through his email address, which is embedded in open source software that's contained in gazillions of systems worldwide. That makes it significantly less likely that whomever he would report this to would have gotten another report about this particular individual.

arp242 6y ago

I once tried to have a conversation with a women who tried to drive me and my bicycle off the bus lane (where she shouldn't be driving in the first place); and shouted "fuck off you pissy little cunt" to me. For some reason I thought that if I explained my perspective, she would understand. It ended up with a broken back wheel (she kicked it) and a damaged phone (she took it out of my hand when I wanted to take a picture of the license plate and threw it on the ground). She was clearly unhinged, but I was stupid as well. I should of just let it go; no one who starts a social interaction with "pissy little cunt" is likely to be calmed down by reason. You have nothing to gain from trying, and much to potentially lose.

javajosh 6y ago
A sad sentiment of giving up, but I think it is premature to abandon your approach. I think it may be worth trying for that small-ish fraction (call it 10%?) of people who can be talked back from their anger. Those are good conversations to have for both parties, and worth trying to have, even if it results in failure 90% of the time. That said, I think the real lesson for you is: don't make yourself more vulnerable (e.g. letting her touch you or your stuff) if you decide to try to start a conversation! It also points to a theory I've been considering about personhood, and how people like your driver lady is in a mindstate where, in her mind, you're not a person. It's a very, very dangerous situation, because if they don't think you're a person, then there is nothing immoral about saying or doing anything to you, including violence.
- arp242 6y ago
  > I think the real lesson for you is: don't make yourself more vulnerable (e.g. letting her touch you or your stuff) if you decide to try to start a conversation! I didn't "let" her, she just did it. I know you mean well and that you probably didn't intend it like this, but this comment comes off as victim blaming quite a bit. As for the rest: thus far I've never managed to talk random strangers down from these kind of rages; but maybe I just don't have the charm shrug Last time I tried was with my neighbour and he ended up calling the police three times over a four-day period on me. My crime? I kindly asked him to not play his music so loudly all day long at the start of the lockdown (especially at 7am) and not backing down when he tried to shout me away. I had "invaded his home" by knocking on his front door... This isn't a fit of anger, some people are just like this.
  - yetihehe 6y ago
    Yeah, had a neighbour lady like this recently. She was always closing her doors VERY loudly (lamps in my aartment were ringing) and when there was some argument with another neighbour, she eventually said that it was I who started banging doors. My best comparison for arguing with such people is like playing chess with pidgeon. It will throw off pieces, shit on board and be happy that it won. And you will be appaled that it didn't follow any rules, angry maybe, but is there any use to all that arguing? They will bring you down emotionally and then you only argue to have a feeling of winning. No meritoric discussion whatsoever. In such situations, just remember, that arguing with them will NOT have any utility or lasting value, it will just waste your time and mental health.