The GP's suggestion was physical gold, not another electronic payment form. To get a transaction cleared inside the next block today costs 185 satoshis per byt

The GP's suggestion was physical gold, not another electronic payment form. To get a transaction cleared inside the next block today costs 185 satoshis per byte, and a minimum transaction size of 192 bytes. So "almost instant" clearing (~10 mins if you're happy to accept one block, ~30 mins if you're waiting 3 blocks, etc) costs a minimum of $18 today. So that $5 tee that takes 30-60 mins for payment to clear just cost you $23. As the rate of transactions wants to go up, the cost to get into the next block will go up too. We're already at maximum transaction rate, so the only mechanism left is increasing the price. Or you could buy local. (Inb4lightningnetwork)