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An important topic here is that shame is also a construct, and it is a collective construct. Certain things are shameful in one culture, not in another. This i
by AltruisticGapHN 6y ago
An important topic here is that shame is also a construct, and it is a collective construct. Certain things are shameful in one culture, not in another.
This isn’t to say that we don’t have a gut feeling when something feels wrong. We have an inner sense of boundaries which eg. can be damaged by trauma and deeply affects our ability to connect and such.
But when it comes to adult relationships there is a wide spectrum of behaviours and unless everyone tells you something is deeply wrong, I think there are times and places where people may not endure the same sense of shame.
- Udik 6y agoExactly. Insisting on how shameful and/ or traumatic some experiences must feel is, deep down, incredibly puritanic.
- mensetmanusman 6y agoWhich isn’t always a bad thing. E.g. society can deem certain experiences shameful (incest) for puritanical reasons if it decides to do so.
- MichaelMoser123 6y agoI don't quite buy that; whatever your cultural norms are, there will always be a significant problem with any kind of forced violation of this kind.
- bluGill 6y agoPerhaps, but none of this was forced. It was clear that if you didn't play the game you wouldn't get farther in general, but you had a choice, if you call get out of music a choice.
- deleted 6y ago[deleted]