7 ms·

I’m reminded of an axiom, which I will paraphrase: Everything is about sex. Except sex, which is about power.

A12-B 6y ago
I've always thought this phrase is a bit silly. It completely erases the existence of asexual people and their goals and ambitions.
- benburleson 6y ago
  Or, is the lack of sex about power, reinforcing the axiom?
  - A12-B 6y ago
    The 'axiom' (idiom) is not that the lack of sex is power, but that everything is sex, and sex itself is power, therefore everything is ultimately about power. But you cannot take sex our of that equation. So it implies that anything you do, even if you don't care about having sex at all, is about sex. Doesn't make sense.
- jmt_ 6y ago
  Not that I'm supporting asexual erasure, but sayings like the quote in GP are usually fairly general. Statistically, there are much much fewer asexual people than not, so in general it may hold but that's not to say it holds for every single person.
  - robscallsign 6y ago
    The average human has one breast and one testicle.
    - covidthrow 6y ago
      Parent is talking about percentiles, not averages. But on the point of averages: the median human has two breasts and no testicles.
    - dspillett 6y ago
      And less than two arms.
- eqvinox 6y ago
  I think you misunderstand the phrase; it's about society as a whole, not individual people. Things are implicitly about sex and power on an ingrained level, and asexual people are just screwed (SCNR) even more by this.
  - A12-B 6y ago
    I disagree with that. Not everything is implicitly about sex, maybe everything is about power (strong maybe) but sex is not a precursor to that. That said, you are probably right that the things that are about sex and power end up disadvantaging the asexuals.
    - deleted 6y ago
      [deleted]
- lostgame 6y ago
  Came here to post this, glad I didn't and forget we can't post about asexuality here. As an asexual person, not only are we not respected whatsoever here, but in my experienced, also personally attacked. That your comment about erasure is getting this many down votes is unfortunately absolutely common for HN, and I'm incredibly disappointed in that. Before people jump in who might not be asexual to try to defend this - it's such a problem I have actually shared emails with an admin who actually seem genuinely concerned about the problem. Just the truth. I'm not sure why HN has it in for asexuals, but God damn guys, can't you ease up on us?
  - azeirah 6y ago
    I found that HN is generally not very friendly to LGBTQ+ people. I don't think it is because there's a certain type of phobia here, but most people here are very logical and analytical people which I've seen resulting in "logical arguments for and against the existence of ..." which is just.. Why We exist because we exist, nothing else.
    - lostgame 6y ago
      And to speak up about it, as obviously pictured once again here - gets us downvoted into oblivion, only confirming our feelings of being unheard... For real, it's been such an issue here I have had emails with an admin but didn't press the issue further and I think it's due time to send another one. They really did seem to care and to be concerned.
      - eqvinox 6y ago
        You're assuming you're getting downvoted due to the asexual aspect of your posts. I don't know whether this applies to other cases, but in this case I'm reasonably sure the reason is different: the existence and behavior of asexual people does not change how overall society works (sadly). In the very situation the BBC story refers to, it doesn't matter whether you're an asexual musician. The producer/executive/... would still expect sex from you. They don't give a shit, follow their ingrained patterns, and that's the problem. No part of "Everything is about sex. Except sex, which is about power." is in any way diminishing or erasing asexual people. If anything, it exemplifies the additional plight that being asexual brings, even over other LGBTQ+ preferences. Society expects you to be about sex & that's gonna be a very slow change.
- kgwxd 6y ago
  It's also leaves out everyone for whom sex is not about power. It's like saying knives are for stabbing, which is true, if you're going to stab someone.
  - mnouquet 6y ago
    Either conscientiously or inconscientiously, sex is about power.
- voldacar 6y ago
  Asexual people actually are the ones erasing their own existence. On a generational timescale, at least
  - A12-B 6y ago
    Not really, because asexuality is not an inheritable trait, as far as i understand. It wouldn't have lasted this long in humanity if it was (maybe there were asexuals who have been forced to have sex? I don't know). It can also just be a lifestyle choice. We wouldn't call this asexuality probably, but nevertheless if someone chooses not to have sex it's kind of a spit in the face to say that everything from work to relaxation is undertaken because of some sex->power pipeline.
    - ben_w 6y ago
      > It can also just be a lifestyle choice. We wouldn't call this asexuality probably, The word there is “celibacy”. It’s not like straight people make a “lifestyle choice” to not get aroused when they see an attractive member of the opposite sex. > but nevertheless if someone chooses not to have sex it's kind of a spit in the face to say that everything from work to relaxation is undertaken because of some sex->power pipeline. Not from what I’ve heard from people who make that choice. That group mostly consisting of Catholic priests.
- globular-toast 6y ago
  Yeah and it completely erases the existence of clouds too! Why isn't there a bit about clouds?!
- mnouquet 6y ago
  Even with asexual people, it's all about sex... or the lack of thereof. Asexuality is a sexuality.
agumonkey 6y ago
Actually I'd bet that neurologically sex is far from power games, but along each growth the system gets used for personal benefits rather than union. Might be a cultural lens too.
- mnouquet 6y ago
  Actually, in a human hierarchical society, power is all about sex.
  - agumonkey 6y ago
    Explain that to me, is that a self gene natural ladder ?
    - mnouquet 6y ago
      Competition to get at the top of the hierarchy, and the fact someone will be willing to compete, coupled with the intrinsic need for control which comes with power, sex just being a tool to an end... Especially in a culture as puritan and easily offended (only "in public") as the North American culture. All in all, it's human intrinsic nature.
saalweachter 6y ago
Money, power, sex and elephants.
kgwxd 6y ago
Says more about the speaker than sex itself. Sounds like the words of someone with mental health issues.
- ordu 6y ago
  Or maybe someone who've read Frans de Waal "Chimpanzee Politics: Power and Sex Among Apes". Power and sex seem to be interlinked due to evolution: the more power one have, the more accessible sex and reproduction become. People are trying to break this link for some reasons (probably good reasons), but it is not so easy.
- mhh__ 6y ago
  The phrase should be considered as a framework for (let's say) hyper-masculine Id behaviour. However sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
- leetcrew 6y ago
  kevin spacey said this in the first season of house of cards.
  - kgwxd 6y ago
    I did not know that and I choked on my tea reading it.
    - leetcrew 6y ago
      in hindsight, it's kind of incredible. in the show, he said this to a young reporter who was trading sexual favors for scoops.
- globular-toast 6y ago
  Fifty Shades of Grey is one of the best selling books of all time. Almost all the women your age have read it or seen the film. You should too.
- subpixel 6y ago
  A more nuanced critique is to be found via the podcast "Sex Power Money", by Sara Pascoe.
pjc50 6y ago
It might have gone better if you'd said "aphorism" rather than "axiom", because boy howdy are there a lot of people in these comments who don't know what an aphorism is and are taking it literally.
- subpixel 6y ago
  you are correct.

I've always thought this phrase is a bit silly. It completely erases the existence of asexual people and their goals and ambitions.

benburleson 6y ago
Or, is the lack of sex about power, reinforcing the axiom?
- A12-B 6y ago
  The 'axiom' (idiom) is not that the lack of sex is power, but that everything is sex, and sex itself is power, therefore everything is ultimately about power. But you cannot take sex our of that equation. So it implies that anything you do, even if you don't care about having sex at all, is about sex. Doesn't make sense.
jmt_ 6y ago
Not that I'm supporting asexual erasure, but sayings like the quote in GP are usually fairly general. Statistically, there are much much fewer asexual people than not, so in general it may hold but that's not to say it holds for every single person.
- robscallsign 6y ago
  The average human has one breast and one testicle.
  - covidthrow 6y ago
    Parent is talking about percentiles, not averages. But on the point of averages: the median human has two breasts and no testicles.
  - dspillett 6y ago
    And less than two arms.
eqvinox 6y ago
I think you misunderstand the phrase; it's about society as a whole, not individual people. Things are implicitly about sex and power on an ingrained level, and asexual people are just screwed (SCNR) even more by this.
- A12-B 6y ago
  I disagree with that. Not everything is implicitly about sex, maybe everything is about power (strong maybe) but sex is not a precursor to that. That said, you are probably right that the things that are about sex and power end up disadvantaging the asexuals.
  - deleted 6y ago
    [deleted]
lostgame 6y ago
Came here to post this, glad I didn't and forget we can't post about asexuality here. As an asexual person, not only are we not respected whatsoever here, but in my experienced, also personally attacked. That your comment about erasure is getting this many down votes is unfortunately absolutely common for HN, and I'm incredibly disappointed in that. Before people jump in who might not be asexual to try to defend this - it's such a problem I have actually shared emails with an admin who actually seem genuinely concerned about the problem. Just the truth. I'm not sure why HN has it in for asexuals, but God damn guys, can't you ease up on us?
- azeirah 6y ago
  I found that HN is generally not very friendly to LGBTQ+ people. I don't think it is because there's a certain type of phobia here, but most people here are very logical and analytical people which I've seen resulting in "logical arguments for and against the existence of ..." which is just.. Why We exist because we exist, nothing else.
  - lostgame 6y ago
    And to speak up about it, as obviously pictured once again here - gets us downvoted into oblivion, only confirming our feelings of being unheard... For real, it's been such an issue here I have had emails with an admin but didn't press the issue further and I think it's due time to send another one. They really did seem to care and to be concerned.
    - eqvinox 6y ago
      You're assuming you're getting downvoted due to the asexual aspect of your posts. I don't know whether this applies to other cases, but in this case I'm reasonably sure the reason is different: the existence and behavior of asexual people does not change how overall society works (sadly). In the very situation the BBC story refers to, it doesn't matter whether you're an asexual musician. The producer/executive/... would still expect sex from you. They don't give a shit, follow their ingrained patterns, and that's the problem. No part of "Everything is about sex. Except sex, which is about power." is in any way diminishing or erasing asexual people. If anything, it exemplifies the additional plight that being asexual brings, even over other LGBTQ+ preferences. Society expects you to be about sex & that's gonna be a very slow change.
kgwxd 6y ago
It's also leaves out everyone for whom sex is not about power. It's like saying knives are for stabbing, which is true, if you're going to stab someone.
- mnouquet 6y ago
  Either conscientiously or inconscientiously, sex is about power.
voldacar 6y ago
Asexual people actually are the ones erasing their own existence. On a generational timescale, at least
- A12-B 6y ago
  Not really, because asexuality is not an inheritable trait, as far as i understand. It wouldn't have lasted this long in humanity if it was (maybe there were asexuals who have been forced to have sex? I don't know). It can also just be a lifestyle choice. We wouldn't call this asexuality probably, but nevertheless if someone chooses not to have sex it's kind of a spit in the face to say that everything from work to relaxation is undertaken because of some sex->power pipeline.
  - ben_w 6y ago
    > It can also just be a lifestyle choice. We wouldn't call this asexuality probably, The word there is “celibacy”. It’s not like straight people make a “lifestyle choice” to not get aroused when they see an attractive member of the opposite sex. > but nevertheless if someone chooses not to have sex it's kind of a spit in the face to say that everything from work to relaxation is undertaken because of some sex->power pipeline. Not from what I’ve heard from people who make that choice. That group mostly consisting of Catholic priests.
globular-toast 6y ago
Yeah and it completely erases the existence of clouds too! Why isn't there a bit about clouds?!
mnouquet 6y ago
Even with asexual people, it's all about sex... or the lack of thereof. Asexuality is a sexuality.

agumonkey 6y ago

Actually I'd bet that neurologically sex is far from power games, but along each growth the system gets used for personal benefits rather than union. Might be a cultural lens too.

mnouquet 6y ago
Actually, in a human hierarchical society, power is all about sex.
- agumonkey 6y ago
  Explain that to me, is that a self gene natural ladder ?
  - mnouquet 6y ago
    Competition to get at the top of the hierarchy, and the fact someone will be willing to compete, coupled with the intrinsic need for control which comes with power, sex just being a tool to an end... Especially in a culture as puritan and easily offended (only "in public") as the North American culture. All in all, it's human intrinsic nature.

saalweachter 6y ago

Money, power, sex and elephants.

kgwxd 6y ago

Says more about the speaker than sex itself. Sounds like the words of someone with mental health issues.

ordu 6y ago
Or maybe someone who've read Frans de Waal "Chimpanzee Politics: Power and Sex Among Apes". Power and sex seem to be interlinked due to evolution: the more power one have, the more accessible sex and reproduction become. People are trying to break this link for some reasons (probably good reasons), but it is not so easy.
mhh__ 6y ago
The phrase should be considered as a framework for (let's say) hyper-masculine Id behaviour. However sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
leetcrew 6y ago
kevin spacey said this in the first season of house of cards.
- kgwxd 6y ago
  I did not know that and I choked on my tea reading it.
  - leetcrew 6y ago
    in hindsight, it's kind of incredible. in the show, he said this to a young reporter who was trading sexual favors for scoops.
globular-toast 6y ago
Fifty Shades of Grey is one of the best selling books of all time. Almost all the women your age have read it or seen the film. You should too.
subpixel 6y ago
A more nuanced critique is to be found via the podcast "Sex Power Money", by Sara Pascoe.

pjc50 6y ago

It might have gone better if you'd said "aphorism" rather than "axiom", because boy howdy are there a lot of people in these comments who don't know what an aphorism is and are taking it literally.

subpixel 6y ago
you are correct.