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Since 1) this is supposed to be for "a non-technical audience" and 2) the target audience is parents of young children who feel it's necessary to monitor (in re
by jlgaddis 6y ago
Since 1) this is supposed to be for "a non-technical audience" and 2) the target audience is parents of young children who feel it's necessary to monitor (in real-time) their child(ren)'s day care facilities in the first place, I can't help but think that your rewritten intro missed out on an absolutely perfect opportunity by failing to include -- for maximum effect and attention-grabbing, obviously -- terms like "pedophile", "child predator", and so on.
(I'm only halfway joking.)