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Totally agree with this. My parents were good in some ways but in terms of anything related to academics they were both in the negative. They never helped me wi

Totally agree with this. My parents were good in some ways but in terms of anything related to academics they were both in the negative. They never helped me with my homework even a single time growing up.. homeschooling with them would have been.. awkward. Education definitely needs to reform, speaking here in terms of North America, but HN is not a a good sample pool for the general public. I’m so jealous of people from good families. Like when I hear so and sos parents went to Yale so they did to.. here I am like: my dad sold drugs :/ Don’t all of you go about underestimating your good luck.

Melting_Harps 6y ago
> I’m so jealous of people from good families. Like when I hear so and sos parents went to Yale so they did to.. here I am like: my dad sold drugs :/ I went to private school and my best friend's dad worked as a middle level exec at Phillip Morris, other than the fact they had far more financial security and that time he gave us that 'only idiots smoke' speech with details about how his Industry worked (incidentally years before Thank you for smking came out) I don't think they had much of anything you would call a relationship. His son was more like an employee than a child, he would have new cleats every other football game but only because his father insisted that he scored the most touchdowns and 'make a name for himself for scholarship money' kind of arrangements. There wasn't anything I'd say I envied of his situation. Another colleagues father was from a poor family but an amazing mechanic with engineering and fabrication leanings, some of his patents were bough by Yamaha and even did a few years at Raytheon. Of his 3 children, 2 became an account and a physician but both tried to commit suicide as did his wife due to horrible upbringing. My childhood was marred with things more like your own than my friend's as I came from a working lower middle class so despite my parents sending me to private school to shield me from the realities at home they were still painfully real. If I'm honest I much prefer being an autodidact that grew up on the Internet as I know that anything I want to learn is within my grasp and and that its likely a community of people who are dedicated to this is out there too if I really want to learn from. I lost track of my friend when we went to separate highschools as his dad got relocated to the East Coast but I'd later find out from a mutual friend that he never really amounted to much, either. Why that was isn't clear, but I know for a fact he despised being his father's only son despite him being a well paid exec that managed 100s of people. Your pain can be your guide for success if you learn to channel it and use it in your favour, which is why I'm now seeing it a gift despite all the drawbacks it had in my past. It also probably gave you a sense of empathy for children in similar situations that you may have ignored entirely had you not grown up in such a dysfunctional situation. Sidenote: I was big fan of 'Malcolm in the Middle' in grade school but lost interest when I got to HS and forgot all about it until the pandemic and random youtube videos, so I've been watching some of the later seasons as they're new to me and I forgot how poignant that show was at highlighting some of the points of wealth inequality and the pernicious effects of wasting Human Capital and potential: particular in systems like Ivy Leagues.
- kinghtown 6y ago
  “My childhood was marred with things more like your own than my friend's as I came from a working lower middle class so despite my parents sending me to private school to shield me from the realities” My mom used to smoke crack in front of me when we were about the same age. Poor people do not have a monopoly on being shitty parents but let’s stay on topic here: the school system is necessary for the lower classes.
  - Melting_Harps 6y ago
    > My mom used to smoke crack in front of me when we were about the same age. Poor people do not have a monopoly on being shitty parents but let’s stay on topic here: the school system is necessary for the lower classes. What they/we need(ed) is a better school system if and when necessary and an opt out entirely for basic skills training for gainful employment for the lower class, of which I was a part of back then and only until recently. Not everyone was meant to go to University, Society cannot function without the essential workers we have who still work to this day despite COVID, most of whom do not have more than a secondary school education--this pandemic showed just how non-essential a stock broker or a contract lawyer, or even a Software engineer is in maintaining Society's core functions that we all rely on, and we would be remiss to conflate schooling with education or skills for that matter. The school system in question was a place that kept people like me from attending University lectures by guest lecturers or seminal speeches on various topics I took interest in because I disobyeyed my teachers, walked out of class and left school when I got bored and corrected their mistakes and still had a 3.x GPA without even trying and openly told them I spent more time on the internet and in university lectures than in their class or homework so it was best to just ignore me and let me go at it alone instead of trying to make an example out of me, which they did and tried to get me on a technicality saying I didn't attend the 'minimum days' my senior year to graduate, proving to me it was racket for financial gain at it's core rather than a place to get an education or even a proper skills set. These very same people sent recruiters and head hunters from universities on my behalf by my junior year as they wanted a success story to tell, when I refused because I had already got accepted at another university with a near full ride (something very important to me as I had all my money tied to up to my first start up) they were offended. A not so dissimilar thing happened in my freshman and sophomore year oat the first University I attended (I went to 3 by Junior year of a BSc because of countless budget cuts and politics in impacted majors that cared more about cashing in on out of state and foreign tuition rates than educating their own populace) when I got honors when the semester before I was put on academic probation for trying to take 16 units worth of classes at a another university while working 2 jobs (call center and my 2nd startup), but I digress... That same HS education system tried to send me into Honors Classes on campus a year before but I disliked the hands on approach those teachers had to have with me for me to be accepted, as I had already committed to a life of autodiaditic learning by 16. Had I simply had access to more things like lathes, CNC machines and welders when I was in HS instead of make-shift garages in apartment parking lots I would have been a very successful fabricator as I would later live with a very famous roll cage and suspension fabricator and a professional driver in motorsports who offered me a role in his operation as he wanted to expand and make more in house designs and felt I had something to contribute. I declined and instead I chose biology and got burned and then went into tech as is so common a story here on HN as I refused to play the academic game and still did more outside of it then I ever could inside, which is why I focused on Ag and culinary.
JeremyNT 6y ago
> I’m so jealous of people from good families. Like when I hear so and sos parents went to Yale so they did to.. here I am like: my dad sold drugs :/ Don't feel envious! My dad was also a small time drug dealer when I was a kid, and it taught me a lot about class and policing and corruption through direct experience. Going through DARE propaganda in my public school with dad in jail for selling weed was an especially potent lesson. I hated school with a passion, but realistically what is the alternative? My parents did their best and it sounds like we had similar situations, but of course they didn't help with school or homeschool, because how could they? Too busy working and paying the bills. I literally have no clue what the equivalent of this pandemic would do to a family in their economic situation. It certainly would have been worse than going to school, though. I never went to Yale, didn't go on to become famous or do great things. But once they were able my parents got a computer and a modem so I could follow my passion despite their economic situation - more than a lot of kids had, for sure - and I learned a lot along the way. Maybe rich and connected parents would have eased my path, but I doubt it would have made me a better or happier person.

Melting_Harps 6y ago

> I’m so jealous of people from good families. Like when I hear so and sos parents went to Yale so they did to.. here I am like: my dad sold drugs :/ I went to private school and my best friend's dad worked as a middle level exec at Phillip Morris, other than the fact they had far more financial security and that time he gave us that 'only idiots smoke' speech with details about how his Industry worked (incidentally years before Thank you for smking came out) I don't think they had much of anything you would call a relationship. His son was more like an employee than a child, he would have new cleats every other football game but only because his father insisted that he scored the most touchdowns and 'make a name for himself for scholarship money' kind of arrangements. There wasn't anything I'd say I envied of his situation. Another colleagues father was from a poor family but an amazing mechanic with engineering and fabrication leanings, some of his patents were bough by Yamaha and even did a few years at Raytheon. Of his 3 children, 2 became an account and a physician but both tried to commit suicide as did his wife due to horrible upbringing. My childhood was marred with things more like your own than my friend's as I came from a working lower middle class so despite my parents sending me to private school to shield me from the realities at home they were still painfully real. If I'm honest I much prefer being an autodidact that grew up on the Internet as I know that anything I want to learn is within my grasp and and that its likely a community of people who are dedicated to this is out there too if I really want to learn from. I lost track of my friend when we went to separate highschools as his dad got relocated to the East Coast but I'd later find out from a mutual friend that he never really amounted to much, either. Why that was isn't clear, but I know for a fact he despised being his father's only son despite him being a well paid exec that managed 100s of people. Your pain can be your guide for success if you learn to channel it and use it in your favour, which is why I'm now seeing it a gift despite all the drawbacks it had in my past. It also probably gave you a sense of empathy for children in similar situations that you may have ignored entirely had you not grown up in such a dysfunctional situation. Sidenote: I was big fan of 'Malcolm in the Middle' in grade school but lost interest when I got to HS and forgot all about it until the pandemic and random youtube videos, so I've been watching some of the later seasons as they're new to me and I forgot how poignant that show was at highlighting some of the points of wealth inequality and the pernicious effects of wasting Human Capital and potential: particular in systems like Ivy Leagues.

kinghtown 6y ago
“My childhood was marred with things more like your own than my friend's as I came from a working lower middle class so despite my parents sending me to private school to shield me from the realities” My mom used to smoke crack in front of me when we were about the same age. Poor people do not have a monopoly on being shitty parents but let’s stay on topic here: the school system is necessary for the lower classes.
- Melting_Harps 6y ago
  > My mom used to smoke crack in front of me when we were about the same age. Poor people do not have a monopoly on being shitty parents but let’s stay on topic here: the school system is necessary for the lower classes. What they/we need(ed) is a better school system if and when necessary and an opt out entirely for basic skills training for gainful employment for the lower class, of which I was a part of back then and only until recently. Not everyone was meant to go to University, Society cannot function without the essential workers we have who still work to this day despite COVID, most of whom do not have more than a secondary school education--this pandemic showed just how non-essential a stock broker or a contract lawyer, or even a Software engineer is in maintaining Society's core functions that we all rely on, and we would be remiss to conflate schooling with education or skills for that matter. The school system in question was a place that kept people like me from attending University lectures by guest lecturers or seminal speeches on various topics I took interest in because I disobyeyed my teachers, walked out of class and left school when I got bored and corrected their mistakes and still had a 3.x GPA without even trying and openly told them I spent more time on the internet and in university lectures than in their class or homework so it was best to just ignore me and let me go at it alone instead of trying to make an example out of me, which they did and tried to get me on a technicality saying I didn't attend the 'minimum days' my senior year to graduate, proving to me it was racket for financial gain at it's core rather than a place to get an education or even a proper skills set. These very same people sent recruiters and head hunters from universities on my behalf by my junior year as they wanted a success story to tell, when I refused because I had already got accepted at another university with a near full ride (something very important to me as I had all my money tied to up to my first start up) they were offended. A not so dissimilar thing happened in my freshman and sophomore year oat the first University I attended (I went to 3 by Junior year of a BSc because of countless budget cuts and politics in impacted majors that cared more about cashing in on out of state and foreign tuition rates than educating their own populace) when I got honors when the semester before I was put on academic probation for trying to take 16 units worth of classes at a another university while working 2 jobs (call center and my 2nd startup), but I digress... That same HS education system tried to send me into Honors Classes on campus a year before but I disliked the hands on approach those teachers had to have with me for me to be accepted, as I had already committed to a life of autodiaditic learning by 16. Had I simply had access to more things like lathes, CNC machines and welders when I was in HS instead of make-shift garages in apartment parking lots I would have been a very successful fabricator as I would later live with a very famous roll cage and suspension fabricator and a professional driver in motorsports who offered me a role in his operation as he wanted to expand and make more in house designs and felt I had something to contribute. I declined and instead I chose biology and got burned and then went into tech as is so common a story here on HN as I refused to play the academic game and still did more outside of it then I ever could inside, which is why I focused on Ag and culinary.

JeremyNT 6y ago

> I’m so jealous of people from good families. Like when I hear so and sos parents went to Yale so they did to.. here I am like: my dad sold drugs :/ Don't feel envious! My dad was also a small time drug dealer when I was a kid, and it taught me a lot about class and policing and corruption through direct experience. Going through DARE propaganda in my public school with dad in jail for selling weed was an especially potent lesson. I hated school with a passion, but realistically what is the alternative? My parents did their best and it sounds like we had similar situations, but of course they didn't help with school or homeschool, because how could they? Too busy working and paying the bills. I literally have no clue what the equivalent of this pandemic would do to a family in their economic situation. It certainly would have been worse than going to school, though. I never went to Yale, didn't go on to become famous or do great things. But once they were able my parents got a computer and a modem so I could follow my passion despite their economic situation - more than a lot of kids had, for sure - and I learned a lot along the way. Maybe rich and connected parents would have eased my path, but I doubt it would have made me a better or happier person.