5 ms·

Why did you refuse the surgery? Do you think it would help with the pain?

jbob2000 6y ago
I empathize with this person. It’s clear from his story he does not have a support network. I think many of the decisions you make that are good decisions are helped by your friends and family. When people act alone or without support, they tend to make bad decisions. (Not to say this is always the case, just something I’ve noticed and felt in myself - I make bad decisions when I feel alone) The first mistake he made was not seeking assistance after the stabbing incident. Either he didn’t trust anyone or he simply didn’t have anyone he could turn to to take him in. Many people would be able to go back to their parents or stay with a friend after something like that, but he felt that going homeless was the only option. Even if I wanted to go homeless, I can think of a number of people who would literally drag me off the street and in to their house. Where was that for this person? Surgery is a decision that an individual cannot make alone, it’s too overwhelming, you need support to get through that.
- teterphiel 6y ago
  i‘ve been watching interviews with homeless people on the Invisible People youtube channel (highly recommend), and one thing that struck me is how skin deep most support networks are. having friends and family vanish the second they could come up with a reasonable excuse seems to be the hardest part for many of them.
  - happyconcepts 6y ago
    Its dangerous to talk to anybody out here. I feel like I am taking a huge risk even posting about it. If someone is close enough to talk to you they are close enough to hurt you. To your point I had reached out to a collge girlfriend after my accident in 2017. She asked for my address and I gave her c/o Chrysalis which is a work help program here in Santa Monica. Unfortunately, she wanted to do somethinf nice so she sent a care package of shampoo and other things but I will never know. Chrysalis kicked me out for 'abusing' their mail service. I never even saw the package she sent to me. I received 2 dentist bills, 0 responses to the resumes i was sending out, and 1 unannounced care package. I am so clearly not an abuser of anything except possibly myself somehow. Thank you. I would upvote your comment but havent yet found out how.
    - whoooooo123 6y ago
      > I would upvote your comment but havent yet found out how Click the little upward-pointing triangle next to the username at the top of the comment. When the triangle disappears, you've upvoted. Upvotes can't be undone.
      - forgotmypw17 6y ago
        upvotes can be undone with the unvote button.
        whoooooo123 6y ago
        Holy shit, I never noticed that link until now. You, sir, get an upvote that I will most certainly not be withdrawing.
- happyconcepts 6y ago
  Thank you for your thoughts but you sir are selling me short. >The first mistake he made was not seeking assistance after the stabbing incident Sadly I found no assistance. I clarified some things about the surgery decision in another comment that may enlighten you. >going homeless was the only option No friends, no family. I have a brother who graduated Harvard Law under Dershowitz and worked for Weinstein. My younger brother. He called the police to tell them I was suicidal and they showed up at my ex-girlfriend's house to haul me away. (I was not, and have never been suicidal). Sadly for me but luckily for you, you have much more support.
  - padastra 6y ago
    In your story, you are the unfortunate recipient of a shit stick from everyone: - your brother, a successful attorney who lied to the police to commit you - your shelter, who kicked you out randomly without cause (people who run and work at shelters are generally well-intended - your roommate, who literally attacked you with a knife completely randomly - your lawyer, and potentially the surgeon he recommended - the chiropractor - the other driver Each is believable, especially the chiropractor, but you’re essentially the completely passive and no-fault recipient of a giant shit stick from like 7 different people in short order. I hate to ask this but do you think it’s possible there’s some common thread here? Your past behavior, mental health, drug use (and thus being exposed to people who attack others with knives during disputes), etc?
    - random5634 6y ago
      There may be a longer family history here where support networks got burned - two most common I've seen are drug use and mental health issues. Criminal justice involvement much lower on list. For transitional job programs - you don't get kicked out w out a reason - they work with lots of people. They agree not usually as ocial workers though - program is about jobs and employers usually. Ok to use them for mail like onboarding paperwork from employers. Because of liability and other risks (folks can be hustling etc still) usually not ok too use mail service for other reasons.
      - 6y ago
DSingularity 6y ago
I think he accepted the surgery but regrets it for some reason. That’s how I read it at least.
- happyconcepts 6y ago
  No, I refused the surgery and I do not regret it one byte. The accident atty had arranged a chiropractor who hurt me, and being homeless, to me it was clearly greedily intentional in order to 'Maximize my monetary recovery'. because the atty takes a % of the award! The timing is critical to understanding the conveyor of terror I was on. The chiro did this to me after my accident MRI was taken. So then the atty arranges a surgeon to perform c2-c5 spine surgery based on the old MRI and he tells me "it's routine. A piece of cake." Felt like the perfectly plausibly deniable way to put me in a wheelchair as a quadriplegic and then charge the insurance company $2 million instead of a paltry $30000. "Oh there were complications during the routine surgery.." is the risk I was facing.
  - mrtksn 6y ago
    Wow, you sound like you’ve lost all your trust to humanity. While the conspiracy to cash on your misfortune is possible, it requires an orchestration of multiple corrupt well educated individuals. I like to think that doctors are intellectually honest people. They might have monetary motives and and biases but they wouldn’t lie. You can stumble upon a psychopath but most people aren’t and the psychopaths also have a reputation to uphold. It’s dangerous to lie at well documented events like a surgery.
  - DSingularity 6y ago
    What do you need to improve your situation now?
    - happyconcepts 6y ago
      Beyond the social communication here which has been hugely helpful, I need less pain and for my adrenaline levels to abate; I'm still wound up from Monday which is longer than typical. And wifi access would let me chase down my 2020 w-2 to file for the 1200 and 600 federal help payments for which I am eligible but never received.

jbob2000 6y ago

I empathize with this person. It’s clear from his story he does not have a support network. I think many of the decisions you make that are good decisions are helped by your friends and family. When people act alone or without support, they tend to make bad decisions. (Not to say this is always the case, just something I’ve noticed and felt in myself - I make bad decisions when I feel alone) The first mistake he made was not seeking assistance after the stabbing incident. Either he didn’t trust anyone or he simply didn’t have anyone he could turn to to take him in. Many people would be able to go back to their parents or stay with a friend after something like that, but he felt that going homeless was the only option. Even if I wanted to go homeless, I can think of a number of people who would literally drag me off the street and in to their house. Where was that for this person? Surgery is a decision that an individual cannot make alone, it’s too overwhelming, you need support to get through that.

teterphiel 6y ago
i‘ve been watching interviews with homeless people on the Invisible People youtube channel (highly recommend), and one thing that struck me is how skin deep most support networks are. having friends and family vanish the second they could come up with a reasonable excuse seems to be the hardest part for many of them.
- happyconcepts 6y ago
  Its dangerous to talk to anybody out here. I feel like I am taking a huge risk even posting about it. If someone is close enough to talk to you they are close enough to hurt you. To your point I had reached out to a collge girlfriend after my accident in 2017. She asked for my address and I gave her c/o Chrysalis which is a work help program here in Santa Monica. Unfortunately, she wanted to do somethinf nice so she sent a care package of shampoo and other things but I will never know. Chrysalis kicked me out for 'abusing' their mail service. I never even saw the package she sent to me. I received 2 dentist bills, 0 responses to the resumes i was sending out, and 1 unannounced care package. I am so clearly not an abuser of anything except possibly myself somehow. Thank you. I would upvote your comment but havent yet found out how.
  - whoooooo123 6y ago
    > I would upvote your comment but havent yet found out how Click the little upward-pointing triangle next to the username at the top of the comment. When the triangle disappears, you've upvoted. Upvotes can't be undone.
    - forgotmypw17 6y ago
      upvotes can be undone with the unvote button.
      - whoooooo123 6y ago
        Holy shit, I never noticed that link until now. You, sir, get an upvote that I will most certainly not be withdrawing.
happyconcepts 6y ago
Thank you for your thoughts but you sir are selling me short. >The first mistake he made was not seeking assistance after the stabbing incident Sadly I found no assistance. I clarified some things about the surgery decision in another comment that may enlighten you. >going homeless was the only option No friends, no family. I have a brother who graduated Harvard Law under Dershowitz and worked for Weinstein. My younger brother. He called the police to tell them I was suicidal and they showed up at my ex-girlfriend's house to haul me away. (I was not, and have never been suicidal). Sadly for me but luckily for you, you have much more support.
- padastra 6y ago
  In your story, you are the unfortunate recipient of a shit stick from everyone: - your brother, a successful attorney who lied to the police to commit you - your shelter, who kicked you out randomly without cause (people who run and work at shelters are generally well-intended - your roommate, who literally attacked you with a knife completely randomly - your lawyer, and potentially the surgeon he recommended - the chiropractor - the other driver Each is believable, especially the chiropractor, but you’re essentially the completely passive and no-fault recipient of a giant shit stick from like 7 different people in short order. I hate to ask this but do you think it’s possible there’s some common thread here? Your past behavior, mental health, drug use (and thus being exposed to people who attack others with knives during disputes), etc?
  - random5634 6y ago
    There may be a longer family history here where support networks got burned - two most common I've seen are drug use and mental health issues. Criminal justice involvement much lower on list. For transitional job programs - you don't get kicked out w out a reason - they work with lots of people. They agree not usually as ocial workers though - program is about jobs and employers usually. Ok to use them for mail like onboarding paperwork from employers. Because of liability and other risks (folks can be hustling etc still) usually not ok too use mail service for other reasons.
    - 6y ago

DSingularity 6y ago

I think he accepted the surgery but regrets it for some reason. That’s how I read it at least.

happyconcepts 6y ago
No, I refused the surgery and I do not regret it one byte. The accident atty had arranged a chiropractor who hurt me, and being homeless, to me it was clearly greedily intentional in order to 'Maximize my monetary recovery'. because the atty takes a % of the award! The timing is critical to understanding the conveyor of terror I was on. The chiro did this to me after my accident MRI was taken. So then the atty arranges a surgeon to perform c2-c5 spine surgery based on the old MRI and he tells me "it's routine. A piece of cake." Felt like the perfectly plausibly deniable way to put me in a wheelchair as a quadriplegic and then charge the insurance company $2 million instead of a paltry $30000. "Oh there were complications during the routine surgery.." is the risk I was facing.
- mrtksn 6y ago
  Wow, you sound like you’ve lost all your trust to humanity. While the conspiracy to cash on your misfortune is possible, it requires an orchestration of multiple corrupt well educated individuals. I like to think that doctors are intellectually honest people. They might have monetary motives and and biases but they wouldn’t lie. You can stumble upon a psychopath but most people aren’t and the psychopaths also have a reputation to uphold. It’s dangerous to lie at well documented events like a surgery.
- DSingularity 6y ago
  What do you need to improve your situation now?
  - happyconcepts 6y ago
    Beyond the social communication here which has been hugely helpful, I need less pain and for my adrenaline levels to abate; I'm still wound up from Monday which is longer than typical. And wifi access would let me chase down my 2020 w-2 to file for the 1200 and 600 federal help payments for which I am eligible but never received.