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‘I Miss My Mom’: Kids of QAnons Are Trying to Deradicalize Their Parents

36 points by Balgair 6y ago

silexia 6y ago
I've been trying to deradicalize my grandpa for twenty years. Let me save you time and effort: It can't be done. We just have to wait for them to die.
- toomuchtodo 6y ago
  True unfortunately. https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/706889 https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/706889
kbelder 6y ago
>Kids of QAnons Are Trying to Deradicalize Their Parents And vice-versa.
- lovegoblin 6y ago
  Reality has a well-known liberal bias.
klmadfejno 6y ago
Heartbreaking stuff. On some level I'm concerned it could happen to my folks. They're not right leaning but I don't see much of an ounce of critical thinking, especially when it comes to politics. Susceptibility to outrage stories and paranoia is high. Qanon won't work on them, but something similarly delusional of a slightly different color? Makes me nervous.
brundolf 6y ago
I think the mistake is assuming this kind of thinking is rooted in flawed logic (and can therefore be corrected). It's not. It's rooted in feelings like fear and trust and distrust. If you want to combat it, you have to help people on an emotional level: build connections, show compassion and nuance, set an example for a saner way of being. They will never be talked out of it, but they may be eased out of it, even if just partially. Our bridge to reality does not and could never be purely rooted in facts. Other people, and our connections with them, determine our sense of what's real. We can see it play out in this case. We have isolation: > His dad, who’d been divorced from his mother for many years, had recently died...Sam quickly noticed his mom was spending almost all of her time online. ...followed by a new sense of belonging: > Sam’s mom had found a community that not only validated her fear, but also encouraged her anger.
h2odragon 6y ago
It's possible to co-exist peacefully with someone you disagree with. For some, actual co-operative endavors may be possible. Someone can be wrong without having to be deprogrammed. It's even possible that the actual truth may lie somewhere between the two unmixable poles, whichever they are. I eagerly await the usual accusations of hate speech.
- kgin 6y ago
  People can coexist with different opinions, absolutely. That’s not what this is talking about. This is about people whose entire lives became consumed by paranoia and fear of an impending Armageddon. It happened to be a politics-flavored paranoia in this instance, but it’s not about politics. There are other examples throughout history of people being swept up into an all-consuming bubble.
  - brundolf 6y ago
    It's also important to distinguish "coexisting" from "accepting that their beliefs are valid" There are plenty of cases where two belief systems can contradict each other but still be equally valid; QAnon is not one of those cases However, that doesn't mean it's necessary or even productive to be constantly pushing back and arguing with loved ones who have succumbed to it. It's possible to coexist with the people without validating their beliefs. It very well may also be an effective path towards opening their eyes.
- ivraatiems 6y ago
  > I eagerly await the usual accusations of hate speech. Saying that kinda cuts against your point, doesn't it? You're stating an opinion, then implying that the only disagreement you'll get is hate speech (before anyone has said anything). That's a hostile way to open a conversation and is exactly the opposite of the way one would talk in order to foster genuine cooperation.
  - h2odragon 6y ago
    It is trolling, I admit; but also I've been accused of being a Nazi for saying things like this for the past couple years more times than I can count, so I'm looking forward to seeing how it happens this time.

36 points by Balgair 6y ago

I've been trying to deradicalize my grandpa for twenty years. Let me save you time and effort: It can't be done. We just have to wait for them to die.

toomuchtodo 6y ago
True unfortunately. https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/706889 https://www.journals.uchicago.edu/doi/abs/10.1086/706889

kbelder 6y ago

>Kids of QAnons Are Trying to Deradicalize Their Parents And vice-versa.

lovegoblin 6y ago
Reality has a well-known liberal bias.

klmadfejno 6y ago

Heartbreaking stuff. On some level I'm concerned it could happen to my folks. They're not right leaning but I don't see much of an ounce of critical thinking, especially when it comes to politics. Susceptibility to outrage stories and paranoia is high. Qanon won't work on them, but something similarly delusional of a slightly different color? Makes me nervous.

brundolf 6y ago

I think the mistake is assuming this kind of thinking is rooted in flawed logic (and can therefore be corrected). It's not. It's rooted in feelings like fear and trust and distrust. If you want to combat it, you have to help people on an emotional level: build connections, show compassion and nuance, set an example for a saner way of being. They will never be talked out of it, but they may be eased out of it, even if just partially. Our bridge to reality does not and could never be purely rooted in facts. Other people, and our connections with them, determine our sense of what's real. We can see it play out in this case. We have isolation: > His dad, who’d been divorced from his mother for many years, had recently died...Sam quickly noticed his mom was spending almost all of her time online. ...followed by a new sense of belonging: > Sam’s mom had found a community that not only validated her fear, but also encouraged her anger.

h2odragon 6y ago

It's possible to co-exist peacefully with someone you disagree with. For some, actual co-operative endavors may be possible. Someone can be wrong without having to be deprogrammed. It's even possible that the actual truth may lie somewhere between the two unmixable poles, whichever they are. I eagerly await the usual accusations of hate speech.

kgin 6y ago
People can coexist with different opinions, absolutely. That’s not what this is talking about. This is about people whose entire lives became consumed by paranoia and fear of an impending Armageddon. It happened to be a politics-flavored paranoia in this instance, but it’s not about politics. There are other examples throughout history of people being swept up into an all-consuming bubble.
- brundolf 6y ago
  It's also important to distinguish "coexisting" from "accepting that their beliefs are valid" There are plenty of cases where two belief systems can contradict each other but still be equally valid; QAnon is not one of those cases However, that doesn't mean it's necessary or even productive to be constantly pushing back and arguing with loved ones who have succumbed to it. It's possible to coexist with the people without validating their beliefs. It very well may also be an effective path towards opening their eyes.
ivraatiems 6y ago
> I eagerly await the usual accusations of hate speech. Saying that kinda cuts against your point, doesn't it? You're stating an opinion, then implying that the only disagreement you'll get is hate speech (before anyone has said anything). That's a hostile way to open a conversation and is exactly the opposite of the way one would talk in order to foster genuine cooperation.
- h2odragon 6y ago
  It is trolling, I admit; but also I've been accused of being a Nazi for saying things like this for the past couple years more times than I can count, so I'm looking forward to seeing how it happens this time.