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I'd say you probably don't even need to be attractive physically in terms of having a pretty face. If you've got a charming personality and you are reasonably i

I'd say you probably don't even need to be attractive physically in terms of having a pretty face. If you've got a charming personality and you are reasonably in shape, you'll get plenty of attention. You're signaling that you have value and people act accordingly.

robocat 6y ago
> you'll get plenty of attention But qualitatively different attention IMHO. Great looking guy with zero personality: shallow attention e.g. one-night stands or pure accessory. Ugly guy with great personality: veer towards long-term relationships or maybe friend-zoning.
- darkerside 6y ago
  Disagree. If you think that is true of you, then maybe you don't have as great a personality as you think you do. Women love funny, confident guys.
  - robocat 6y ago
    Ha ha! Actually I was talking about what I have seen in friends and acquaintances, although I have seen exceptions too. Might depend upon country too...
- kridsdale1 6y ago
  This is a lot more incel-y than I am accustomed to seeing on HackerNews.
  - jfengel 6y ago
    I see a lot of incel-y talk on HN. Some of it seems predicated on Silicon Valley as a gold rush town, with men outnumbering women ten to one and the women taking that in a mercenary opportunity. Almost any discussion of dating will turn up a lot of such views.
    - robocat 6y ago
      A long way off-topic, but any talk of incel is likely to be taken as an insult (although some use it in a positive way). The word definitely doesn’t apply to me! Personally, I have never even heard the word used within my own social circles (some of which are geeky). The hn crowd seems to be particularly international to me - making assumptions based on SV seems wierd. I am in New Zealand with a normal ratio of genders, and plenty of social situations to meet women since we have no lockdown, however I have heard that NZ has far too many sheep. On topic: I am acquainted with one world-competing female body-builder. She comes across as extremely competent at the other parts of her life (good artist, good at running her own business).

robocat 6y ago

> you'll get plenty of attention But qualitatively different attention IMHO. Great looking guy with zero personality: shallow attention e.g. one-night stands or pure accessory. Ugly guy with great personality: veer towards long-term relationships or maybe friend-zoning.

darkerside 6y ago
Disagree. If you think that is true of you, then maybe you don't have as great a personality as you think you do. Women love funny, confident guys.
- robocat 6y ago
  Ha ha! Actually I was talking about what I have seen in friends and acquaintances, although I have seen exceptions too. Might depend upon country too...
kridsdale1 6y ago
This is a lot more incel-y than I am accustomed to seeing on HackerNews.
- jfengel 6y ago
  I see a lot of incel-y talk on HN. Some of it seems predicated on Silicon Valley as a gold rush town, with men outnumbering women ten to one and the women taking that in a mercenary opportunity. Almost any discussion of dating will turn up a lot of such views.
  - robocat 6y ago
    A long way off-topic, but any talk of incel is likely to be taken as an insult (although some use it in a positive way). The word definitely doesn’t apply to me! Personally, I have never even heard the word used within my own social circles (some of which are geeky). The hn crowd seems to be particularly international to me - making assumptions based on SV seems wierd. I am in New Zealand with a normal ratio of genders, and plenty of social situations to meet women since we have no lockdown, however I have heard that NZ has far too many sheep. On topic: I am acquainted with one world-competing female body-builder. She comes across as extremely competent at the other parts of her life (good artist, good at running her own business).