It's also about providing them with the necessary skills so that they actually do have a choice. If a kid never learns to tidy up, wash dishes, sort their laund

It's also about providing them with the necessary skills so that they actually do have a choice. If a kid never learns to tidy up, wash dishes, sort their laundry etc. then when they move out of home they may not know how to take care of themselves. If they have the skills and just choose to be a slob, that's on them. But many young adults seem genuinely lost.