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Why was financial disruption worse than the emotional disruption of a bad marriage? I guess not having enough to eat is worse than an abusive marriage, but do p

by aflag 6y ago

Why was financial disruption worse than the emotional disruption of a bad marriage? I guess not having enough to eat is worse than an abusive marriage, but do people get into that much financial trouble from divorce usually? What about child support? I find it hard to imagine a child growing up in a house with two parents who treat each other like shit is worse off than one with a single parent, but who knows?

rayiner 6y ago
> Why was financial disruption worse than the emotional disruption of a bad marriage? I guess not having enough to eat is worse than an abusive marriage Look, I’m not talking about abusive marriages. For people without a college degree, 60% of marriages will end before the kids are independent and in their own two feet. Most of those don’t involve involve abuse. > but do people get into that much financial trouble from divorce usually? Yes. For the average middle class family, having to split into two households is incredibly financially disruptive. Most middle class couples aren’t in a position where one person can take over the housing payment alone. That means moving, potentially changing schools, etc. And there’s a ton of other shared expenses that each parent now has to pay separately. > What about child support? For a non-college educated man making the median $36,000 a year, child support here in Maryland works out to $567 per month. That doesn’t come close to offsetting the support of the other householder.
- frongpik 6y ago
  What happens with house payments in such cases? I suppose the house goes to the mother, but she can't pay mortgage alone and the father can't pay the mortgage plus rent plus child support plus everything else.
  - rayiner 6y ago
    Mom sells the house and everyone moves. Even couples who are reasonably comfortable can’t afford to maintain an additional household to the one they have on the same income. Median household income in my county is $80,000/year. That’s a bit under $5,300 month take home for a married couple. Which is fine—you can buy a 4BR house here in a good school district for $1,450 per month in mortgage. But no way the couple can afford to keep the house if they get divorced. Rent alone in a studio will be $750/month. (Like most normal places, it’s much more expensive to rent here than buy.) Even if the spouse moving out lives like a pauper that’s realistically a $1,500/month hole in the budget few families can cover. So Dad moves into a studio, mom and the kids move into a cheap 2BR, and you’re paying like $1,750 month for housing (total) because you’ve given up the cost advantages of home ownership. And say there is another $750 in new non-shared expenses. So that’s $1,000/month that’s no longer there that was going towards savings/college/enrichment activities, etc. They’ve traded a 4BR house in a nice suburb for two households that are struggling to get by and have no margin. If they’re lucky, the kids got to stay in the same school district, but they’ve probably been taken away from their neighborhood friends. This happened my step siblings in law recently. It’s extremely shitty.

by aflag 6y ago

rayiner 6y ago

> Why was financial disruption worse than the emotional disruption of a bad marriage? I guess not having enough to eat is worse than an abusive marriage Look, I’m not talking about abusive marriages. For people without a college degree, 60% of marriages will end before the kids are independent and in their own two feet. Most of those don’t involve involve abuse. > but do people get into that much financial trouble from divorce usually? Yes. For the average middle class family, having to split into two households is incredibly financially disruptive. Most middle class couples aren’t in a position where one person can take over the housing payment alone. That means moving, potentially changing schools, etc. And there’s a ton of other shared expenses that each parent now has to pay separately. > What about child support? For a non-college educated man making the median $36,000 a year, child support here in Maryland works out to $567 per month. That doesn’t come close to offsetting the support of the other householder.

frongpik 6y ago
What happens with house payments in such cases? I suppose the house goes to the mother, but she can't pay mortgage alone and the father can't pay the mortgage plus rent plus child support plus everything else.
- rayiner 6y ago
  Mom sells the house and everyone moves. Even couples who are reasonably comfortable can’t afford to maintain an additional household to the one they have on the same income. Median household income in my county is $80,000/year. That’s a bit under $5,300 month take home for a married couple. Which is fine—you can buy a 4BR house here in a good school district for $1,450 per month in mortgage. But no way the couple can afford to keep the house if they get divorced. Rent alone in a studio will be $750/month. (Like most normal places, it’s much more expensive to rent here than buy.) Even if the spouse moving out lives like a pauper that’s realistically a $1,500/month hole in the budget few families can cover. So Dad moves into a studio, mom and the kids move into a cheap 2BR, and you’re paying like $1,750 month for housing (total) because you’ve given up the cost advantages of home ownership. And say there is another $750 in new non-shared expenses. So that’s $1,000/month that’s no longer there that was going towards savings/college/enrichment activities, etc. They’ve traded a 4BR house in a nice suburb for two households that are struggling to get by and have no margin. If they’re lucky, the kids got to stay in the same school district, but they’ve probably been taken away from their neighborhood friends. This happened my step siblings in law recently. It’s extremely shitty.