4 ms·

Yes, divorce is a good thing, if it's warranted. I created a new account in case this gets indexed somewhere. I am in my 30s and my own parents are still marri

Yes, divorce is a good thing, if it's warranted. I created a new account in case this gets indexed somewhere. I am in my 30s and my own parents are still married, but they should have gotten divorced a long time ago. They never did, "because of the kids" and it pains me. They are fucking miserable. I have not seen them lovingly kiss each other in at least 3 decades (I only remember once when I was a toddler). They do not have intercourse of any kind, sleep in separate bedrooms, fight constantly, my dad has been having affairs (unsure if my mom knows about them, I doubt it would change anything if she did), all because they are too ashamed to get divorced, and at this point, they're too old to do it. Of course looking in from the outside they seem like a happy couple - always went to social functions together, etc. But on the inside, definitely not. I always wonder once you take out the marriages that end in divorce, how many of the ones left are like my parents - happy on the outside, fucking miserable on the inside. In my own experience, the vast majority of friends' parents have been divorced, sometimes multiple times, and I already have friends my age who were married and divorced. Needless to say, I am in no rush to get married, even in my 30s. I do have relationships when it's right, but I don't let society tell me if or when I should be getting married, if ever. It's way too big a risk to my personal happiness.

thgaway17 6y ago
Unfortunately, my marriage resembles that of your parents. My only counterpoint to your belief that they would be happier if they divorced, is to suggest you may be minimizing they value they get from stability and certainty. There’s value in knowing who’s going to care for you when you get cancer, even if there’s a lot of animosity now.
- valarauko 6y ago
  I agree, though context is important too. Getting separated at 80 would likely mean a severe drop in their quality of life, for the remainder of their days. Getting separated at 50 much less so, especially for the man (usually). At 40, the perceived value of that stability and certainty is probably not worth the unhappiness.

thgaway17 6y ago

Unfortunately, my marriage resembles that of your parents. My only counterpoint to your belief that they would be happier if they divorced, is to suggest you may be minimizing they value they get from stability and certainty. There’s value in knowing who’s going to care for you when you get cancer, even if there’s a lot of animosity now.

valarauko 6y ago
I agree, though context is important too. Getting separated at 80 would likely mean a severe drop in their quality of life, for the remainder of their days. Getting separated at 50 much less so, especially for the man (usually). At 40, the perceived value of that stability and certainty is probably not worth the unhappiness.