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> Sounds kinda like sexism is the wedge driven between the father, and his wife and daughter. That's a bit of a stretch. N of 1 but I (male) can easily see my

> Sounds kinda like sexism is the wedge driven between the father, and his wife and daughter. That's a bit of a stretch. N of 1 but I (male) can easily see myself being more open about my daughters' personal choices than my wife. (Yes I read the article and saw the point about strife between fathers and daughters. If I had to guess my sense is that a dad's intent is not to be sexist, but to keep their daughters safe. Whether that's an effective approach is another question.)

klyrs 6y ago
> If I had to guess my sense is that a dad's intent is not to be sexist, but to keep their daughters safe. It can be both. Infantilizing, being overprotective, on the basis of gender is an expression of sexism. I'm sure that it's well intentioned, but if one only examines their intentions and not impact, then they're not actually reducing harm
- da_big_ghey 6y ago
  The world is more dangerous in many ways for women. Is a father seeking to therefore protect a daughter differently than a son sexist? There are certainly things that a father would do only with a son for the same reasons.
  - ben_w 6y ago
    “It can be” is not the same as “it always is”. Devil is in the details. Infantilising someone or putting someone on a pedestal, rather than communicating and understanding their lived experiences, is how I currently distinguish sexism from usefully accounting for real differences. (I can’t judge my own success in this regard, but it’s where I’m at right now).
  - watwut 6y ago
    The girl will perceive it as unfair and will react accordingly. Also, father needs to make sure he is protecting her from actual danger rather then imaginary. For example, if you are controlling your daughter "for her own good" against imaginary dangers and teaching her to accept control like that, you are priming her for controlling abusive relationship. And the actual danger to her is exactly that - a guy who is controlling and later abusive. If she interprets early warning red flags as "caring" or "protection", she will get exactly that.
  - DoreenMichele 6y ago
    The world is more dangerous in many ways for women. Women have something of a tendency to live longer than men. Men are more likely to take dangerous jobs, like fire fighter or infantry member. Men are more likely to go to jail. Women are more likely to attempt suicide and survive it. Men are more likely to succeed at killing themselves when they attempt suicide. There are lots of shitty things that go on in the world and the world likes to sexually harass women, sexually assault women, treat them like whores who were "asking for it" when they end up raped, pregnant out of wedlock, etc. etc. But it's questionable logic to claim that the world is more dangerous for women.

klyrs 6y ago

> If I had to guess my sense is that a dad's intent is not to be sexist, but to keep their daughters safe. It can be both. Infantilizing, being overprotective, on the basis of gender is an expression of sexism. I'm sure that it's well intentioned, but if one only examines their intentions and not impact, then they're not actually reducing harm

da_big_ghey 6y ago
The world is more dangerous in many ways for women. Is a father seeking to therefore protect a daughter differently than a son sexist? There are certainly things that a father would do only with a son for the same reasons.
- ben_w 6y ago
  “It can be” is not the same as “it always is”. Devil is in the details. Infantilising someone or putting someone on a pedestal, rather than communicating and understanding their lived experiences, is how I currently distinguish sexism from usefully accounting for real differences. (I can’t judge my own success in this regard, but it’s where I’m at right now).
- watwut 6y ago
  The girl will perceive it as unfair and will react accordingly. Also, father needs to make sure he is protecting her from actual danger rather then imaginary. For example, if you are controlling your daughter "for her own good" against imaginary dangers and teaching her to accept control like that, you are priming her for controlling abusive relationship. And the actual danger to her is exactly that - a guy who is controlling and later abusive. If she interprets early warning red flags as "caring" or "protection", she will get exactly that.
- DoreenMichele 6y ago
  The world is more dangerous in many ways for women. Women have something of a tendency to live longer than men. Men are more likely to take dangerous jobs, like fire fighter or infantry member. Men are more likely to go to jail. Women are more likely to attempt suicide and survive it. Men are more likely to succeed at killing themselves when they attempt suicide. There are lots of shitty things that go on in the world and the world likes to sexually harass women, sexually assault women, treat them like whores who were "asking for it" when they end up raped, pregnant out of wedlock, etc. etc. But it's questionable logic to claim that the world is more dangerous for women.