4 ms·

What about the other people around you?

by nednar 6y ago

lazide 6y ago
Should you be showing it's ok to stay (by example), or that it's ok to leave? (by example)
- nednar 6y ago
  You can't show that it's okay to leave, because you won't be there anymore to correct the narrative told about you.
  - lazide 6y ago
    Sure you can - by finding something better, which is all anyone is concerned about from leaving anyway. The other parts (badmouthing you behind your back or whatever), have no effect on you once you’re gone except to highlight even more why folks should leave. People are not ignorant of the type of bosses that do that sort of thing, or what it means in my experience. Worrying about the narrative some asshole is going to spin about your departure just puts you in their power - which is why they do it. The folks on the line generally don’t care, certainly not to the extent that should let someone control you in a toxic environment.
    - loopz 6y ago
      The narratives and justifications in toxic environments keep people there. They won't show the stayers squat. It may not even be all untrue, just twisted, forgetting all the good parts and dehumanizing, which is the objective. Those who left are often oblivious its happening too.
      - lazide 6y ago
        That’s what I was talking about in part - They keep the people there who for whatever reason it works on (denial, fear, whatever), there are also those that connect with and think it’s a good environment. There are also those who don’t care and are using it to get experience and will bounce to a better place later. And there are also those that it helps to see someone succeed and get out. And those who seeing someone succeed is a threat to them, as it challenges all the other factors they’re in denial about. The only ones who ‘leaving’ hurts is the ones who are enabling the bad environment. For everyone else? It’s just another day. Don’t fall for the BS, you’ll be worse off for it later and regret it. But make sure you have a plan and a backup option. Rage quitting when you’ll be bankrupt in a week is dumb.
AnimalMuppet 6y ago
If I can't fix the work environment for me, I can't fix it for them. The best I could do is to very quietly tell them "This is garbage. I'm looking. You maybe ought to be looking, too." (I guess the other thing I could do for them is to tell the actual truth in my exit interview.)
- marcod 6y ago
  You're first point is well taken looking back now. That being said, I didn't wait until my exit interview to raise hell, I mean, the alarm. I also put clear criticism into his upward manager review. I later found quotes from that in my own review how in blaming him. That stuff was supposed to be confidential...

What about the other people around you?

by nednar 6y ago

What about the other people around you?

lazide 6y ago

Should you be showing it's ok to stay (by example), or that it's ok to leave? (by example)

nednar 6y ago
You can't show that it's okay to leave, because you won't be there anymore to correct the narrative told about you.
- lazide 6y ago
  Sure you can - by finding something better, which is all anyone is concerned about from leaving anyway. The other parts (badmouthing you behind your back or whatever), have no effect on you once you’re gone except to highlight even more why folks should leave. People are not ignorant of the type of bosses that do that sort of thing, or what it means in my experience. Worrying about the narrative some asshole is going to spin about your departure just puts you in their power - which is why they do it. The folks on the line generally don’t care, certainly not to the extent that should let someone control you in a toxic environment.
  - loopz 6y ago
    The narratives and justifications in toxic environments keep people there. They won't show the stayers squat. It may not even be all untrue, just twisted, forgetting all the good parts and dehumanizing, which is the objective. Those who left are often oblivious its happening too.
    - lazide 6y ago
      That’s what I was talking about in part - They keep the people there who for whatever reason it works on (denial, fear, whatever), there are also those that connect with and think it’s a good environment. There are also those who don’t care and are using it to get experience and will bounce to a better place later. And there are also those that it helps to see someone succeed and get out. And those who seeing someone succeed is a threat to them, as it challenges all the other factors they’re in denial about. The only ones who ‘leaving’ hurts is the ones who are enabling the bad environment. For everyone else? It’s just another day. Don’t fall for the BS, you’ll be worse off for it later and regret it. But make sure you have a plan and a backup option. Rage quitting when you’ll be bankrupt in a week is dumb.

AnimalMuppet 6y ago

If I can't fix the work environment for me, I can't fix it for them. The best I could do is to very quietly tell them "This is garbage. I'm looking. You maybe ought to be looking, too." (I guess the other thing I could do for them is to tell the actual truth in my exit interview.)

marcod 6y ago
You're first point is well taken looking back now. That being said, I didn't wait until my exit interview to raise hell, I mean, the alarm. I also put clear criticism into his upward manager review. I later found quotes from that in my own review how in blaming him. That stuff was supposed to be confidential...