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How to make a cargo cult project: - Read the latest AGILE books and learn how to be a scrum master - Choose the hottest languages and frameworks as the founda

by umvi 6y ago

How to make a cargo cult project: - Read the latest AGILE books and learn how to be a scrum master - Choose the hottest languages and frameworks as the foundation of the project - Hire a bunch of developers with experience in those languages/frameworks - Get JIRA and setup a sprint board - Do a daily standup - Figure out how Kubernetes/blockchain/marketing buzz can fit into your project to help make it more successful - (optional) Tell devs to upgrade to even hotter languages and frameworks as they come out so that your project always uses cutting edge tech - Wait for the airplanes to land

woodrowbarlow 6y ago
and the last step: - figure out something to make (because the what always seems to come after the how)
- prox 6y ago
  That’s simple, it’s a blockchain federated privacy hardened pandemic resistant... thing.
  - ajford 6y ago
    You know, like Uber meets Facebook with a dash of Netflix (for that sweet, sweet ChaosOps) and a sprinkle of... thing.
dr-detroit 6y ago
I like how people who don't learn out of school think nobody else can
29athrowaway 6y ago
You pick a language because: 1) You can hire people that can use it effectively. 2) It is robust, production ready. 3) Emphasizes a set of traits that you are interested in, such as productivity, performance, high concurrency, low latency, binary size, compatibility, etc. To the clueless this may seem like bikeshedding and cargo culting, but that is not necessarily the case.
geoelectric 6y ago
Now that I've been stuck actually working with agile in the field for 15-20 years, not sure I think we get to call that and Scrum cultish anymore. They're more just popular productivity footguns at this point.
- 29athrowaway 6y ago
  Scrum exists to expand scrum. The role of scrum master is about scrum indoctrination. The authors of scrum created that role to make the methodology viral. The methodology is also vague enough to blame you for anything that goes wrong with it.
  - geoelectric 6y ago
    At the very least, I fully buy they created that role to create a secondary market training and certifying them.
    - 29athrowaway 6y ago
      Scrum works because Brawndo has electrolytes.
      - Jon_Lowtek 6y ago
        it's what plants crave!
      - djmips 6y ago
        back to reddit with ye
  - steveBK123 6y ago
    True agile has never been tried!
    - keithnz 6y ago
      agile wasn't really a process, just a manifesto. All scrum did was package itself as a marketing strategy to enterprises while the rest of the agile advocates face palmed and slowly walked backwards from "agile" as it became more and more poisoned. Shame really, Software Philosophers like Kent Beck kind of got lost in all that noise, who always emphasized the human aspect of software creation
potta_coffee 6y ago
You forgot to mention microservices brah. If your services aren't micro enough, forget about it, you aren't gonna make it.
- Aperocky 6y ago
  yep, keep burning those cloud credits, pad-left and is-odd deserve their own microservice.
- luhn 6y ago
  Microservices are dead, serverless is the future. You only pay for what you use, so when you launch and nobody cares you don't have pay anything.
  - potta_coffee 6y ago
    I think we are "micro-serverless".
- random314 6y ago
  https://youtu.be/y8OnoxKotPQ https://youtu.be/y8OnoxKotPQ
  - potta_coffee 6y ago
    Too good!
- Cthulhu_ 6y ago
  I've been there in two projects, both of which took far longer to build and neither of which ended up with anywhere near the amount of traffic or need to build things using that architecture. That said, I had a project last year where we used a serverless platform for a product / ecommerce platform (Gatsby, Netlify, Contentful, Commercetools, JS/TS) where it worked pretty well.
jodrellblank 6y ago
If the airplanes are VC monies, and those things do attract VC monies, can it really be described as a cargo cult if it works?
- onlydeadheroes 6y ago
  That is a funny question (in the good sense). I would argue the VCs are cargo culting themselves, but of course another could argue that once the VC money has moved into the pockets of the programmers, then the important part of the process is done. I just doesn't necessarily create any useful software.
keyle 6y ago
I've interviewed at a few Saas startups recently: - React / Redux / <and everything under the sun> - NodeJS + Typescript everything or die - GraphQL but we don't know why - React native because we wouldn't know what native is - Postgres with replication and fail over for 10 concurrent users - Docker everything on AWS <every possible keywords> - Don't forget lambdas, but batch with Kafka first - Route 53 just cause the name is too cool not to have it Joking about their Angular rewrite into React is a fireable offence. See you in 2 years. /s
- iFreilicht 6y ago
  I mean I really get why people like using npm and Typescript is great, but the whole “web-tech got adapted for backend then adapted back to web” just makes everything so unnecessarily complicated. I think a lot of this “using frameworks without knowing why” is just because people read articles about them and how-tos and get excited too quickly, and Google just shows way more tutorials about how to do something in React than in plain JS. What are lambdas in this context? I thought those were just another name for closures?
  - keyle 6y ago
    AWS lambda. Functions as a service!

by umvi 6y ago

woodrowbarlow 6y ago

and the last step: - figure out something to make (because the what always seems to come after the how)

prox 6y ago
That’s simple, it’s a blockchain federated privacy hardened pandemic resistant... thing.
- ajford 6y ago
  You know, like Uber meets Facebook with a dash of Netflix (for that sweet, sweet ChaosOps) and a sprinkle of... thing.

dr-detroit 6y ago

I like how people who don't learn out of school think nobody else can

29athrowaway 6y ago

You pick a language because: 1) You can hire people that can use it effectively. 2) It is robust, production ready. 3) Emphasizes a set of traits that you are interested in, such as productivity, performance, high concurrency, low latency, binary size, compatibility, etc. To the clueless this may seem like bikeshedding and cargo culting, but that is not necessarily the case.

geoelectric 6y ago

Now that I've been stuck actually working with agile in the field for 15-20 years, not sure I think we get to call that and Scrum cultish anymore. They're more just popular productivity footguns at this point.

29athrowaway 6y ago
Scrum exists to expand scrum. The role of scrum master is about scrum indoctrination. The authors of scrum created that role to make the methodology viral. The methodology is also vague enough to blame you for anything that goes wrong with it.
- geoelectric 6y ago
  At the very least, I fully buy they created that role to create a secondary market training and certifying them.
  - 29athrowaway 6y ago
    Scrum works because Brawndo has electrolytes.
    - Jon_Lowtek 6y ago
      it's what plants crave!
    - djmips 6y ago
      back to reddit with ye
- steveBK123 6y ago
  True agile has never been tried!
  - keithnz 6y ago
    agile wasn't really a process, just a manifesto. All scrum did was package itself as a marketing strategy to enterprises while the rest of the agile advocates face palmed and slowly walked backwards from "agile" as it became more and more poisoned. Shame really, Software Philosophers like Kent Beck kind of got lost in all that noise, who always emphasized the human aspect of software creation

potta_coffee 6y ago

You forgot to mention microservices brah. If your services aren't micro enough, forget about it, you aren't gonna make it.

Aperocky 6y ago
yep, keep burning those cloud credits, pad-left and is-odd deserve their own microservice.
luhn 6y ago
Microservices are dead, serverless is the future. You only pay for what you use, so when you launch and nobody cares you don't have pay anything.
- potta_coffee 6y ago
  I think we are "micro-serverless".
random314 6y ago
https://youtu.be/y8OnoxKotPQ https://youtu.be/y8OnoxKotPQ
- potta_coffee 6y ago
  Too good!
Cthulhu_ 6y ago
I've been there in two projects, both of which took far longer to build and neither of which ended up with anywhere near the amount of traffic or need to build things using that architecture. That said, I had a project last year where we used a serverless platform for a product / ecommerce platform (Gatsby, Netlify, Contentful, Commercetools, JS/TS) where it worked pretty well.

jodrellblank 6y ago

If the airplanes are VC monies, and those things do attract VC monies, can it really be described as a cargo cult if it works?

onlydeadheroes 6y ago
That is a funny question (in the good sense). I would argue the VCs are cargo culting themselves, but of course another could argue that once the VC money has moved into the pockets of the programmers, then the important part of the process is done. I just doesn't necessarily create any useful software.

keyle 6y ago

I've interviewed at a few Saas startups recently: - React / Redux / <and everything under the sun> - NodeJS + Typescript everything or die - GraphQL but we don't know why - React native because we wouldn't know what native is - Postgres with replication and fail over for 10 concurrent users - Docker everything on AWS <every possible keywords> - Don't forget lambdas, but batch with Kafka first - Route 53 just cause the name is too cool not to have it Joking about their Angular rewrite into React is a fireable offence. See you in 2 years. /s

iFreilicht 6y ago
I mean I really get why people like using npm and Typescript is great, but the whole “web-tech got adapted for backend then adapted back to web” just makes everything so unnecessarily complicated. I think a lot of this “using frameworks without knowing why” is just because people read articles about them and how-tos and get excited too quickly, and Google just shows way more tutorials about how to do something in React than in plain JS. What are lambdas in this context? I thought those were just another name for closures?
- keyle 6y ago
  AWS lambda. Functions as a service!