6 ms·

It's definitely impacted some more than others. There's now an entire class of men who can no longer have romantic relationships because they've been cast out o

It's definitely impacted some more than others. There's now an entire class of men who can no longer have romantic relationships because they've been cast out of the dating market as technology altered dating dynamics not in their favor. For these men, their world, their society is destroyed.

gowld 6y ago
Non physically beautiful or wealthy men who want non-committed relationships with physically beautiful women?
- deleted 6y ago
  [deleted]
TaupeRanger 6y ago
....what?
devlopr 6y ago
Curious to hear a bit more. Who are these men? The non-tech jocks? There must be non-tech females left? Are you speaking about the average looking male group who can't get tinder hookups?
- throwaway3699 6y ago
  Guessing they're on about incels. Definitely becoming a major issue now. I think they're generally gross and it's obvious why they're single, but there has to be an underlying reason for the trend.
  - sli 6y ago
    It's a form of self-harm. They seek it out. It exists for many of the same reasons as other forms of self-harm. Trying to pin down a specific cause is probably not the best approach as it's likely pretty specific to individual men.
- ZephyrBlu 6y ago
  I think the prevalence of social media (Not just dating apps) has somewhat shafted average men since now women have far more access to (EDIT: highly) desirable men. The world continuously becoming more sexually liberal also means that women are more likely to pursue these men, and so average men are looked down upon moreso than before. I'm sure plenty of people have seen the Tinder/Bumble studies where men rated women around 50/50 attractive/unattractive, whereas women rated men 20/80. I believe this is a result of the above, and a lot more nuanced aspects of the change in culture over the last say, 30-40 years.
  - devlopr 6y ago
    I'm in an older group. It feels like much of the same. In my grade school all of the girls had a crush on one or two guys even the less pretty ones. No one had a chance. High school was similiar. Going to rock concerts changed that as I started to meet girls with similiar interests. Going to a concert would automatically give me a leg up because we were now part of a social circle. Later on in life I would go to a karoke bar and just the act of showing up a few times on the same day for a few weeks puts you in a social circle with others who do the same. I don't know if things have changed all that much aside from the amount of people online. I use to meet girls from bbses / the early social media sites. The differences is they were smaller and you felt like part of a social circle. Today I would advise to try to go to social meetups like photography in the park groups.. try to join a smaller group. In the end the girls from my elementary school grew up and married. Everyone married similiar to them. If they are overweight so are there husbands. If they were an 8 their husbands would be an 8. If they are a 4 their husbands are a 4. They general look like each other. My guess is the girls from your primary school will end up with someone similiar to them and so will you.
  - devlopr 6y ago
    My other point of view is the opposite will happen. Men will find happiness in porn, paid sex and virtual sexual experiences and will find that women can't live up to those experiences and men will not be satified with regular women. An average women's sexual peak is later in life and they will not be as satified with virtual sex in the same way. There will be a need for younger men from an older women group that could bridge the divide. If you are young and want casual sex go on courage life not tinder for better results.
throwaway9980 6y ago
Pardon me for being old and married for decades, but what in the world are you talking about? There’s always somebody for somebody. Unless we’re talking about polygamy or China’s one child policy. Those definitely create a lot of single men with no hope.
- ronnier 6y ago
  There's defiantly not someone for everyone. In China and India there are millions of more men than women and countless articles about the "left over" men. https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20170213-why-millions-of-chinese-men-are-staying-single https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20170213-why-millions-o... https://www.whatsonweibo.com/china-now-335-million-men-women/ https://www.whatsonweibo.com/china-now-335-million-men-women...
gumby 6y ago
Wait, what??? I have never heard about such a phenomenon.
- renewiltord 6y ago
  It's a common belief among America's hikikomori who attempt to explain all of life through the lens of sexual contact or romantic intimacy. It's some sort of pop sociology that is highly appealing to these people for no real reason. The median number of lifetime sexual partners for men and women is fairly steady over the last twenty years: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n.htm#numberlifetime https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n.htm#numberlif...
- mathgladiator 6y ago
  I'm thinking the phenomenon is related to "Incel". It's a laziness trap, but it has become a lifestyle for some. I don't agree with it, but it exists.
JohnJamesRambo 6y ago
Sounds like their standards are too high. My momma always said for every sock there is a mate.
benrbray 6y ago
I'm not sure exactly what you're hinting at, but I think you should take a cold, hard look at yourself and the expectations you place on your potential partners. Do you imagine them as actual human beings with their own thoughts, aspirations, preferences, goals? What does such a person have to gain (emotionally / socially) by choosing YOU in particular for a partner? In all relationships, romantic or not, personality is everything. Do you try to be a positive person, or do you complain every time something doesn't go your way? An attractive personality and some self-confidence can go a long way in making you attractive to others, even if you haven't been particularly advantaged by your genes. If you're talking about the dynamics around bars, hookups, and dating apps, you know that's not the only way to meet people, right? I think some of the strongest relationships come out of shared interest in a hobby / skill / career. Join hobby groups etc (not with the intention of finding a partner -- that will be weird and creepy -- but remain open to the idea that you might bump into someone along the way that really aligns with you)
- cryptica 6y ago
  This is complete BS. In our unequal society, some people have 100s of potential partners waiting in line for them while for others, they will never get a single chance in their entire lifetimes. Same with career opportunities. Either you're rich and have more opportunities every single day than you can possibly fathom or you don't have a single good opportunity in your entire lifetime. What's more tragic about it is that it has increasingly little to do with merit or hard work and increasingly more to do with dumb luck. It's all social networking; but that's totally random. People are only selecting friends and partners based on capital these days, not based on any other meaningful characteristic. People are just appendages to the capital... Capital is the agent. People are replaceable. You can thank the reserve banks for that.
  - blt 6y ago
    Your statements are extreme. There may be some subcultures and bits of society that behave like this, but it is far from universal. Please take a break from your current forums/podcasts/youtube/etc.

gowld 6y ago

Non physically beautiful or wealthy men who want non-committed relationships with physically beautiful women?

deleted 6y ago
[deleted]

TaupeRanger 6y ago

....what?

devlopr 6y ago

Curious to hear a bit more. Who are these men? The non-tech jocks? There must be non-tech females left? Are you speaking about the average looking male group who can't get tinder hookups?

throwaway3699 6y ago
Guessing they're on about incels. Definitely becoming a major issue now. I think they're generally gross and it's obvious why they're single, but there has to be an underlying reason for the trend.
- sli 6y ago
  It's a form of self-harm. They seek it out. It exists for many of the same reasons as other forms of self-harm. Trying to pin down a specific cause is probably not the best approach as it's likely pretty specific to individual men.
ZephyrBlu 6y ago
I think the prevalence of social media (Not just dating apps) has somewhat shafted average men since now women have far more access to (EDIT: highly) desirable men. The world continuously becoming more sexually liberal also means that women are more likely to pursue these men, and so average men are looked down upon moreso than before. I'm sure plenty of people have seen the Tinder/Bumble studies where men rated women around 50/50 attractive/unattractive, whereas women rated men 20/80. I believe this is a result of the above, and a lot more nuanced aspects of the change in culture over the last say, 30-40 years.
- devlopr 6y ago
  I'm in an older group. It feels like much of the same. In my grade school all of the girls had a crush on one or two guys even the less pretty ones. No one had a chance. High school was similiar. Going to rock concerts changed that as I started to meet girls with similiar interests. Going to a concert would automatically give me a leg up because we were now part of a social circle. Later on in life I would go to a karoke bar and just the act of showing up a few times on the same day for a few weeks puts you in a social circle with others who do the same. I don't know if things have changed all that much aside from the amount of people online. I use to meet girls from bbses / the early social media sites. The differences is they were smaller and you felt like part of a social circle. Today I would advise to try to go to social meetups like photography in the park groups.. try to join a smaller group. In the end the girls from my elementary school grew up and married. Everyone married similiar to them. If they are overweight so are there husbands. If they were an 8 their husbands would be an 8. If they are a 4 their husbands are a 4. They general look like each other. My guess is the girls from your primary school will end up with someone similiar to them and so will you.
- devlopr 6y ago
  My other point of view is the opposite will happen. Men will find happiness in porn, paid sex and virtual sexual experiences and will find that women can't live up to those experiences and men will not be satified with regular women. An average women's sexual peak is later in life and they will not be as satified with virtual sex in the same way. There will be a need for younger men from an older women group that could bridge the divide. If you are young and want casual sex go on courage life not tinder for better results.

throwaway9980 6y ago

Pardon me for being old and married for decades, but what in the world are you talking about? There’s always somebody for somebody. Unless we’re talking about polygamy or China’s one child policy. Those definitely create a lot of single men with no hope.

ronnier 6y ago
There's defiantly not someone for everyone. In China and India there are millions of more men than women and countless articles about the "left over" men. https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20170213-why-millions-of-chinese-men-are-staying-single https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20170213-why-millions-o... https://www.whatsonweibo.com/china-now-335-million-men-women/ https://www.whatsonweibo.com/china-now-335-million-men-women...

gumby 6y ago

Wait, what??? I have never heard about such a phenomenon.

renewiltord 6y ago
It's a common belief among America's hikikomori who attempt to explain all of life through the lens of sexual contact or romantic intimacy. It's some sort of pop sociology that is highly appealing to these people for no real reason. The median number of lifetime sexual partners for men and women is fairly steady over the last twenty years: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n.htm#numberlifetime https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n.htm#numberlif...
mathgladiator 6y ago
I'm thinking the phenomenon is related to "Incel". It's a laziness trap, but it has become a lifestyle for some. I don't agree with it, but it exists.

JohnJamesRambo 6y ago

Sounds like their standards are too high. My momma always said for every sock there is a mate.

benrbray 6y ago

I'm not sure exactly what you're hinting at, but I think you should take a cold, hard look at yourself and the expectations you place on your potential partners. Do you imagine them as actual human beings with their own thoughts, aspirations, preferences, goals? What does such a person have to gain (emotionally / socially) by choosing YOU in particular for a partner? In all relationships, romantic or not, personality is everything. Do you try to be a positive person, or do you complain every time something doesn't go your way? An attractive personality and some self-confidence can go a long way in making you attractive to others, even if you haven't been particularly advantaged by your genes. If you're talking about the dynamics around bars, hookups, and dating apps, you know that's not the only way to meet people, right? I think some of the strongest relationships come out of shared interest in a hobby / skill / career. Join hobby groups etc (not with the intention of finding a partner -- that will be weird and creepy -- but remain open to the idea that you might bump into someone along the way that really aligns with you)

cryptica 6y ago
This is complete BS. In our unequal society, some people have 100s of potential partners waiting in line for them while for others, they will never get a single chance in their entire lifetimes. Same with career opportunities. Either you're rich and have more opportunities every single day than you can possibly fathom or you don't have a single good opportunity in your entire lifetime. What's more tragic about it is that it has increasingly little to do with merit or hard work and increasingly more to do with dumb luck. It's all social networking; but that's totally random. People are only selecting friends and partners based on capital these days, not based on any other meaningful characteristic. People are just appendages to the capital... Capital is the agent. People are replaceable. You can thank the reserve banks for that.
- blt 6y ago
  Your statements are extreme. There may be some subcultures and bits of society that behave like this, but it is far from universal. Please take a break from your current forums/podcasts/youtube/etc.