I regularly stay off medication for a few weeks so I know what it feels like to start again with them. I don't feel any euphoria, the first day of medication is

I regularly stay off medication for a few weeks so I know what it feels like to start again with them. I don't feel any euphoria, the first day of medication is often the worst, and I hate taking them. But without medication I can't work, with medication I am a top performer. I got diagnosed as an adult since I couldn't even do easy tasks reliably and therefore couldn't hold a job.