You hear that Uber eats riders? you peasants, you! You too can make the news in just under 1,000 years, after you've fallen into a swamp (with your body staying

You hear that Uber eats riders? you peasants, you! You too can make the news in just under 1,000 years, after you've fallen into a swamp (with your body staying preserved), after splitting your head on a rock, after going 30mph around a corner with an about-to-blow tire and a huge 8-person 'late' order in your painfully overburdened backpack, and lastly, after having been exhausted and worn out from the consecutive 60-hour weeks you've been making as a 'freelancer'... /s