"I've done better than them" vs. "I am better than them" is such an important distinction, it really is those subtle differences in attitude that make all the d

"I've done better than them" vs. "I am better than them" is such an important distinction, it really is those subtle differences in attitude that make all the difference in how we view the world and what we get out of the world. Somewhat off-topic example: my mom told me later in life that, when I was younger and I did something stupid and my parents scolded me they always phrased it as "that was a stupid thing to do" instead of "you are stupid for doing that thing." It's a minor difference in phrasing and attitude, but it's a major difference in impact. The former makes you feel bad, you understand that you screwed up, and you don't want to do it again. With the latter, you either A) accept subtly that you're stupid, which has all kinds of negative consequences, or B) you reject the notion that you're stupid, so you don't feel the need to change the behavior and your anger can then be directed at your parents for calling you stupid.