I'm not sure how it works but xmpp with the conversations client has that feature. After sending a message you can edit it to anything or nothing. I don't know

I'm not sure how it works but xmpp with the conversations client has that feature. After sending a message you can edit it to anything or nothing. I don't know of other clients that support that, and obviously someone could have a client that doesn't support it and then they will still see your message. But I think that is the closest you'll get.