Being there and doing that I can give you some suggestions from the inside looking out. First thing and probably most important, don't do this by yourself. Find

Being there and doing that I can give you some suggestions from the inside looking out. First thing and probably most important, don't do this by yourself. Find a professional you can work with, either a psychiatrist or psychologist with PA assistant (PA handles the prescriptions). This is vastly more important then the maxim about walking into a court without a lawyer. Second thing; understand that the process will take time. The combinations involve just about everything you can imagine. They factor in drugs and drug combinations, amount, timing, your health, your activities the nature of your form of depression, etc. The list may feel endless, but it is necessary in order to avoid some of the negatives you mention. As a for instance an early venture eliminated 'rage' as a problem for me, but made it impossible to play tournament chess---if you don't care about winning, winning is quite difficult! The third thing is to persist; this is the most important battle of your life, nothing else matters. Most of your anxieties that you mention are either mythic or a result of your current condition. Yet another reason to find a professional you can talk to.