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My son’s schools have always done this as well. Invariably the administrative staff at his schools (apart from the principal) are women, and invariably they cal

My son’s schools have always done this as well. Invariably the administrative staff at his schools (apart from the principal) are women, and invariably they call his mom instead of me. Every single time I get an apology because they tried to reach out to mom and couldn’t get an answer. 1. They assume his mom is his primary caregiver 2. They assume I will mind having to care for my child 3. They never make a note that they can’t get through to his mom; the assumption remains all year that she’s the primary caregiver On the other side though, buying a car last year was frustrating because multiple salesmen treated my partner like she didn’t exist and answered her questions about cars like she was 3 years old or simply directed answers to me. I had to remind them far too often to talk to her - I hadn’t asked the question. Also the shitty jokes about letting her test drive - it just isn’t funny, she commutes by car for work and I ride a bike to work; she really should test drive it and no I’m not afraid of a woman driving a car. It made us want to walk off car lots, but then we discovered every lot did it anyway.

jchallis 6y ago
This was one clear way Carvana was a better buying experience than the lots - they never made my wife feel less than.
- moftz 6y ago
  We did our research through TrueCar, Consumer reports, and using free vehicle history lookups for anything that didn't already include a free Carfax report to find the exact used VIN we wanted to buy. The Carvana model is a neat idea but we found there was a little bit of a premium on identical models sold through them versus brick and mortar dealerships nearby.
- bityard 6y ago
  I despise Carvana. Their whole business model, in my area at least, is to buy up all decent used cars for sale and then flip them at a non-negotiable higher price. Those of us looking for a newer used car at an affordable price from a private seller or dealership are left with nothing to choose from.
  - ailun 6y ago
    I didn’t think you need to worry too much about them. The prices they offer to the seller are absurdly low - plenty of people will sell independently instead. In my case they offered 35% less than I got selling the car myself. There was no way I could accept their offer, even though I was in a hurry to sell.
deleted 6y ago
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tptacek 6y ago
The car salesman made a joke about letting your wife test drive the car instead of you? Yikes.
- steve_adams_86 6y ago
  In one case he was only half joking, but in the wrong sense. He was genuinely concerned and making sure I think it’s the right call. Sad to say we ended up buying through that dealership, but through a different salesperson.
  - pc86 6y ago
    Guaranteed that the two salesmen split the commission. As soon as there's a deal-breaking issue, you have to go somewhere else or the person who you don't want to reward will still end up getting something.
moftz 6y ago
Last time we bought a car, it was for my girlfriend. She was the one with the down payment and the one who would be the primary driver. She had already done all the research about what she wanted down to the exact used VIN she wanted to buy from them. When the salesman started directing questions to me, I simply would just look at her and let her answer. This quickly made him realize I was just there as a cosigner. Only thing I said the whole time was asking to see under the hood and about anything they knew about the car and it's maintanence that wasn't already on the Carfax report. She didn't have any technical questions for the salesman as she already knew what we wanted, just a test drive to make sure it rode fine, and then we bought it. The finance guy had me fill out some paperwork but all of his questions were directed to her. I don't think I will ever go back to a car dealership without knowing exactly what I want. It is such a waste of time listening to a salespitch by someone that has a absolute interest in you maxing out your budget.
simonh 6y ago
Similar problems in the UK. My wife recently bought a flat to rent out, she's been handling all the comms and paperwork with the solicitors, mortgage company, etc. I only own a 5% share, but when it came to closing the (female) solicitor (attorney?) called me first every single time she had a question, even though I told her every time she should call my wife as she's handling all the arrangements.

jchallis 6y ago

This was one clear way Carvana was a better buying experience than the lots - they never made my wife feel less than.

moftz 6y ago
We did our research through TrueCar, Consumer reports, and using free vehicle history lookups for anything that didn't already include a free Carfax report to find the exact used VIN we wanted to buy. The Carvana model is a neat idea but we found there was a little bit of a premium on identical models sold through them versus brick and mortar dealerships nearby.
bityard 6y ago
I despise Carvana. Their whole business model, in my area at least, is to buy up all decent used cars for sale and then flip them at a non-negotiable higher price. Those of us looking for a newer used car at an affordable price from a private seller or dealership are left with nothing to choose from.
- ailun 6y ago
  I didn’t think you need to worry too much about them. The prices they offer to the seller are absurdly low - plenty of people will sell independently instead. In my case they offered 35% less than I got selling the car myself. There was no way I could accept their offer, even though I was in a hurry to sell.

deleted 6y ago

[deleted]

tptacek 6y ago

The car salesman made a joke about letting your wife test drive the car instead of you? Yikes.

steve_adams_86 6y ago
In one case he was only half joking, but in the wrong sense. He was genuinely concerned and making sure I think it’s the right call. Sad to say we ended up buying through that dealership, but through a different salesperson.
- pc86 6y ago
  Guaranteed that the two salesmen split the commission. As soon as there's a deal-breaking issue, you have to go somewhere else or the person who you don't want to reward will still end up getting something.

moftz 6y ago

Last time we bought a car, it was for my girlfriend. She was the one with the down payment and the one who would be the primary driver. She had already done all the research about what she wanted down to the exact used VIN she wanted to buy from them. When the salesman started directing questions to me, I simply would just look at her and let her answer. This quickly made him realize I was just there as a cosigner. Only thing I said the whole time was asking to see under the hood and about anything they knew about the car and it's maintanence that wasn't already on the Carfax report. She didn't have any technical questions for the salesman as she already knew what we wanted, just a test drive to make sure it rode fine, and then we bought it. The finance guy had me fill out some paperwork but all of his questions were directed to her. I don't think I will ever go back to a car dealership without knowing exactly what I want. It is such a waste of time listening to a salespitch by someone that has a absolute interest in you maxing out your budget.

simonh 6y ago

Similar problems in the UK. My wife recently bought a flat to rent out, she's been handling all the comms and paperwork with the solicitors, mortgage company, etc. I only own a 5% share, but when it came to closing the (female) solicitor (attorney?) called me first every single time she had a question, even though I told her every time she should call my wife as she's handling all the arrangements.