The author wouldn't have had that many problems in their life if they had not fetishized honesty and just picked their battles. He mentions his family being pro

The author wouldn't have had that many problems in their life if they had not fetishized honesty and just picked their battles. He mentions his family being proud of their honesty and constantly underlining that aspect of themselves and how it made them better than other people. In this case, it was a package deal: not just being honest, but also going out of your way to confront people when not strictly necessary and reveling in your own perceived wisdom. Honesty doesn't have an inherent value on its own, nor is dishonesty inherently a problem by the same absolute metric. The value of being honest lies in that it can help bring about positive changes if employed correctly, and dishonesty can be dangerous if it builds into a habit of manipulation and denial. What the author described is just a form of holier-than-you narcissism. Most people who self-label themselves as honest and telling it like it is tend to me more interested in the confrontations themselves rather than the changes that honesty can bring about.