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Oh I have one friend like this. He's lurking there and typing occasionally "Hi" when he feels I might be there. I know that if I answer immediately, I'll lose h

Oh I have one friend like this. He's lurking there and typing occasionally "Hi" when he feels I might be there. I know that if I answer immediately, I'll lose half an hour of my life. So after seeing the message I deliberately wait a few hours, and then answer "hi" and immediately log out. I consider it rude to demand someone's attention for an extended period of time without asking for it first. At the beginning of synchronous communication I always ask "Can I take N minutes of your time?" - this allows the interlocutor to evaluate the situation and make an informed decision. At the same time I feel we should develop the culture "it is perfectly fine to be a nice and well-behaved person and not to answer phone calls at all, only returning them when possible".

bitcurious 6y ago
> I consider it rude to demand someone's attention for an extended period of time without asking for it first. “Hi, busy atm.” You’ve built this whole strategy, and are judging your friend as rude, to avoid this phrase. Be explicit or accept people as they are.
- dvfjsdhgfv 6y ago
  First, I would have to reply “Hi, busy atm” each time. Second, it's not true, I simply prefer asynchronous communication whether I have time or not.
djur 6y ago
If I felt that talking to a person for a half hour amounted to "losing" that time, I would not use the word "friend" to describe our relationship.
kybernetikos 6y ago
> I consider it rude to demand someone's attention for an extended period of time without asking for it first. You know that that's why he's saying 'hi' right? It's his way of asking before taking your attention. And if you don't want to, you can just wait until you do, or say 'sorry, busy'. From what you say, it sounds like you both think that the other person is rude, but that you are doing it on purpose.

bitcurious 6y ago

> I consider it rude to demand someone's attention for an extended period of time without asking for it first. “Hi, busy atm.” You’ve built this whole strategy, and are judging your friend as rude, to avoid this phrase. Be explicit or accept people as they are.

dvfjsdhgfv 6y ago
First, I would have to reply “Hi, busy atm” each time. Second, it's not true, I simply prefer asynchronous communication whether I have time or not.

djur 6y ago

If I felt that talking to a person for a half hour amounted to "losing" that time, I would not use the word "friend" to describe our relationship.

kybernetikos 6y ago

> I consider it rude to demand someone's attention for an extended period of time without asking for it first. You know that that's why he's saying 'hi' right? It's his way of asking before taking your attention. And if you don't want to, you can just wait until you do, or say 'sorry, busy'. From what you say, it sounds like you both think that the other person is rude, but that you are doing it on purpose.