4 ms·
This is a really good article. I wished it didn't jump so quickly from pushing yourself to stress, though. I think there is likely a lot of variance across peop
by munificent 6y ago
This is a really good article. I wished it didn't jump so quickly from pushing yourself to stress, though. I think there is likely a lot of variance across people in how achievement and stress are connected. Sometimes you can motivate yourself in ways that are joyful and exciting and not just a miserable grind.
It's important to really understand your psychology around why you want to achieve and why you might want to push yourself. Is it because something is fascinating and you want to sink yourself into it? Is it because reaching some goal will help others in meaningful ways? Is it because others are relying on you? Or that you are afraid they won't like you if you fail?
If your drive is coming from some place negative, then pushing harder isn't gonna fix that. You'll be miserable while you push yourself, and then miserable afterwards when you discover the achievement didn't fill the hole in your heart. But if it's coming from some place positive, it can feel amazing to live up to your potential. For most of us, it's probably a mixture of all of these.
> But humans have evolved this anticipation ability to extend far beyond other animals. We anticipate bad things months, years, or even decades out.
This makes me wonder if part of the reason we anticipate stressors so far out is because we have relatively few near-term ones in today's safe modern society. Maybe if we all went into the savannah and slept in a tent hoping the lions didn't eat us every now and then we'd be less anxious about something ten years down the road.
> What that means is, just knowing you have the option to reduce stress is enough to make something less stressful—even if you’re not actually controlling the stressors at all.
This is such a key point, especially right now in the pandemic. Like another commenter, I like the suggestion to avoid consuming worrying information that isn't actionable. If the asteroid is gonna crash into the Earth either way, you may as well enjoy your time before it hits.
In addition to the pandemic, I've found politics the past couple of years really stressful. One thing I did that helps is set up recurring donations to a few charities that work on issues that matter to me. This way instead of feeling like everything is horrible and I'm sitting here doing nothing about it (which makes me feel guilty too because so much of the horribleness is primarily affecting other people), now I feel like I'm using some of my privilege to help.
> But there are also many productive ones, like exercise or journaling. Making a list of outlets and making sure to return to them again and again can reduce the havoc that chronic stress can wreak on your body.
I do this a lot. Many of my most productive hobbies are really just escapes from outside stress. If I didn't find parenting overwhelming at first, I probably would have never written a textbook on software architecture.
However, I found out the hard way over the holiday break that there is a perilous failure mode. I've obviously been drained by the pandemic, burned out about working from home, and really fucking stressed out about politics and the election. So during the holiday break I told myself I'd spend a bunch of time on my new electronics hobby to unwind.
And then in short succession I broke a tiny part that had been custom 3D-printed and mailed to me, failed to build a module correctly, found out I ordered the wrong parts for a case, and nearly fried my audio interface. It felt like not only was everything external falling apart, but I couldn't even control the things I was supposed to be in control over. I nearly broke down in tears.
I'm better now, but I try to be mindful that when I really need some escapism and artificial control to choose a hobby that I'm more skilled at. Lesson learned.