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It’s amazing how envious one can be of another’s suffering. I really want nothing more than to be driven and stressed about if I should relax more. I’m moderate

It’s amazing how envious one can be of another’s suffering. I really want nothing more than to be driven and stressed about if I should relax more. I’m moderately successful at whatever I do, but I could be so much more if I could find a way to apply myself even 10%. Instead I always take the low commitment, easy money, do the minimum required route. It’s so natural.I’m sure it sounds nice to many people but I despise myself for it.

atoav 6y ago
For me it is the polar opposite. I just do constantly. When people ask me what I did that week I have to stop myself from listing things exhaustively because it would take to long and I don't want to excert that kind of pressure. For me this is more a mode of operation. My way to relex is to be productive in a different field (e.g. to relax from programming I'd do electronics, build a thing in Blender, etc.)
- wsinks 6y ago
  If it helps you talk about it at all, one of my friends calls just doing things to stay busy as "tinkering". Nice catch all term for whenever you're relaxing in a different domain.
- SuoDuanDao 6y ago
  Are there steps you could point to that indicate how you found your way to that mentality? I'm sure it's genetic to some degree, but if you could help other people get comfortable in that mode of operation it would be worth a lot.
  - testmasterflex 6y ago
    I’m the same and I think it comes from the personality trait ‘Conscientiousness’ from the Big-5 personality test (an extension of Myers Briggs). I score high on that trait and I assume parent author does too. You can do one yourself on understandmyself.com
nix23 6y ago
>It’s amazing how envious one can be of another’s suffering. No problem, start Climbing and Mountaineering you will learn really fast that there is no low commitment, not a community or other peoples that can push or judge you, the situation (nature) demands that from you, there is no NO, and there is no give up. At the end of the day you feel like buddha and superman, repeat that 100s of times and your focus will compleetly shift away from the commitment standpoint to the "what do i really wanna achieve"-point the rest is nonsense and will come automatically.
jborden13 6y ago
My barometer is whether I'm passionate about how I'm spending my time and excited for the future potential. It's interesting because I'm currently at that crossroads in my life. I just left the PE that bought my firm and am unemployed for the first time in 20 years. Wife is freaking because loss of income is detrimental to the house we're currently trying to buy and just scary to her. Building great things from the ground up with great people is where my passion lies. I'm not really the guy to get a job with one foot out the door or do 2 things halfways - and I know ultimately living my time passionately will win out. I guess I'm just saying that I understand where you're at, from an inverted perspective. It's an exhausting life at times but feels well lived.
TeMPOraL 6y ago
I feel you. I had few experiences of prolonged hyperfocus in my life, and I'm still amazed about how much I could accomplish in short time, how full of energy I was, and how happy I was then. Alas, I can't reproduce this state. I've mentioned this on HN before and got some good ideas in replies[0], but I still can't find a formula that can bring that state back. Unfortunately, I concluded that the most plausible answer is somewhat dysfunctional and... "base", for a lack of better term - those hyperfocus achievements had a big component of impressing my peer group. They started with me telling myself or someone else, "like hell I/we can't do X, hold my beer...". Something I can't really recreate these days. -- [0] - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24318052 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24318052

atoav 6y ago

For me it is the polar opposite. I just do constantly. When people ask me what I did that week I have to stop myself from listing things exhaustively because it would take to long and I don't want to excert that kind of pressure. For me this is more a mode of operation. My way to relex is to be productive in a different field (e.g. to relax from programming I'd do electronics, build a thing in Blender, etc.)

wsinks 6y ago
If it helps you talk about it at all, one of my friends calls just doing things to stay busy as "tinkering". Nice catch all term for whenever you're relaxing in a different domain.
SuoDuanDao 6y ago
Are there steps you could point to that indicate how you found your way to that mentality? I'm sure it's genetic to some degree, but if you could help other people get comfortable in that mode of operation it would be worth a lot.
- testmasterflex 6y ago
  I’m the same and I think it comes from the personality trait ‘Conscientiousness’ from the Big-5 personality test (an extension of Myers Briggs). I score high on that trait and I assume parent author does too. You can do one yourself on understandmyself.com

nix23 6y ago

>It’s amazing how envious one can be of another’s suffering. No problem, start Climbing and Mountaineering you will learn really fast that there is no low commitment, not a community or other peoples that can push or judge you, the situation (nature) demands that from you, there is no NO, and there is no give up. At the end of the day you feel like buddha and superman, repeat that 100s of times and your focus will compleetly shift away from the commitment standpoint to the "what do i really wanna achieve"-point the rest is nonsense and will come automatically.

jborden13 6y ago

My barometer is whether I'm passionate about how I'm spending my time and excited for the future potential. It's interesting because I'm currently at that crossroads in my life. I just left the PE that bought my firm and am unemployed for the first time in 20 years. Wife is freaking because loss of income is detrimental to the house we're currently trying to buy and just scary to her. Building great things from the ground up with great people is where my passion lies. I'm not really the guy to get a job with one foot out the door or do 2 things halfways - and I know ultimately living my time passionately will win out. I guess I'm just saying that I understand where you're at, from an inverted perspective. It's an exhausting life at times but feels well lived.

TeMPOraL 6y ago

I feel you. I had few experiences of prolonged hyperfocus in my life, and I'm still amazed about how much I could accomplish in short time, how full of energy I was, and how happy I was then. Alas, I can't reproduce this state. I've mentioned this on HN before and got some good ideas in replies[0], but I still can't find a formula that can bring that state back. Unfortunately, I concluded that the most plausible answer is somewhat dysfunctional and... "base", for a lack of better term - those hyperfocus achievements had a big component of impressing my peer group. They started with me telling myself or someone else, "like hell I/we can't do X, hold my beer...". Something I can't really recreate these days. -- [0] - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24318052 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24318052