I'm not a genius by any stretch, but I felt that way until I was given access to the internet and enough job stability to have a few hours of free time every da

I'm not a genius by any stretch, but I felt that way until I was given access to the internet and enough job stability to have a few hours of free time every day. The internet became a way to easily just read about whatever interested me, which is usually a few hours a day on various subjects. Before that, life was miserable. As an adult I've realized that I need significant and varied diet of books, internet, social time, rigorous physical activity, problem solving, musical practice, and art making every day otherwise I quickly fall into a deep depression. I can see how in other times or other circumstances I'd be turning to substance abuse just to make it through the day. It feels like my mind requires constant effort or I'll be unhealthy and unhappy. Several family members of mine who are quite a bit more intelligent struggle with this even more. Some have even fallen into substance abuse as a shortcut, but one that never achieves stability, only ruin.