3 ms·
In addition to what others have said - most of the work you do with a therapist is emotional. It's okay for the therapist to have a skin color, perceived sex,
by nostrademons 6y ago
In addition to what others have said - most of the work you do with a therapist is emotional. It's okay for the therapist to have a skin color, perceived sex, perceived age, manner of dressing, accent, etc. - as long as those things just are. The therapist's job is to stay neutral, to have no particular emotional attachment to any of these qualities. That way, when there is a moment of strong emotion in the session, it's almost certainly introduced by the client, and then can be explored by them.
There's ironically a good example of this in the blog post:
"For you, the day [I burned] your village was the most important day of your life. For me, it was Tuesday."
Therapists can have race, gender, and age in the same way that it can be Tuesday. They just can't have race in the sense of having their village burned.
(And FWIW, it's very difficult to have an effective blog devoid of emotional content. I tried once and got accused of being a Markov Chain.)
- hinkley 6y agoImprinting and transference are real things, and the more you see the caregiver as a fully fledged human being, the more appealing that trap is.
- gugagore 6y agoThis is just begging the question, I think! Transference being real requires the idea that the caregiver is a blank slate onto which projection occurs.
- hinkley 6y agoDid you ever develop a crush on someone who had a big positive impact in your life? Sometimes it can be difficult to tell if those feelings are about the person or what they did for you. If you don’t know the person all that well, it’s plain to see.
- gugagore 6y agoDid you ever develop a crush on someone you never really interact with, and who had no positive impact in your life? Perhaps someone who has had a less-than-positive impact? You don't know the person that well.