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i think you’re missing the point. If a relatively higher portion of women vs. men have college degrees and thus greater opportunities for stable, salaried posit

i think you’re missing the point. If a relatively higher portion of women vs. men have college degrees and thus greater opportunities for stable, salaried positions; and a larger swath of the men are in (increasingly inconsistent, hourly and low-paid) physical labor markets, while a smaller proportion of men also have stable, salaried jobs (and it’s often still going to be the case that of the highest-compensated employees, a larger portion of them are male): most women aren’t going to want to hitch themselves long-term to someone with unstable prospects. This is where the matching problem comes in, and no, it’s not unreasonable to realize (and it doesn’t necessarily imply a flawed personality in the person who recognizes it enough to write it) that you’re going to have a lot of men with no ability to build a life (ie a wife and a family). And with the increasingly connected-world/social media, they’ll be keenly aware of how a handful of other men have it better/easier. Not crazy to think that will lead to larger societal problems.

jfengel 6y ago
Consider it this way: for most of history, men married women with "unstable prospects". They had no job opportunities, not even low-paid ones. Why? Women don't require men to support them. But many still want life partners -- and for most women, they want those life partners to be men. Many would be thrilled with one who stayed home to care for children. Many would be happy with one who created art, not to support them but because it made for a rich life. Many women, all through history, have made satisfying lives while just scraping by. Don't think of your dating life as a search for the best woman who will have you at your salary. Search out somebody who is kind, compassionate, funny, or whatever else it is that will make you smile when you come home, or when she comes home to you. You'll need money, and the money you each make is precisely the same shade of green, neither pink nor blue. If you make enough together to get by, you can lead a perfectly happy life. If some men are unable to adapt to that fact of life, that is surely a problem with those men, not with women. Fixing it starts with not presenting modernity as a conspiracy against them.
- pardonmesir 6y ago
  again you’re trying to make it a problem inherent in the person who speaks up to point out where they see it differently, and then denigrate the person for propping up a world full of men who see it this way. why? imagine a man’s post suggesting women should just be happy staying home with the kids or making art. you (or your kind) would probably cross-reference their username, find their employer and try to create grounds for the man’s firing a la James Damore. this female-driven trend of thinking there’s enough shame to go around to change the behavior of all men everywhere (especially when the greatest female believers of this seem to have the least amount of desire to truly understand what motivates a man) will no doubt be on the list of grievances when the civil war begins. and for the record, i’m a man who’s doing pretty damn alright in the overall pecking order. i’m in a happy relationship. but yet i see women like you in society everyday with these attitudes — chipping away at men showing an inch of vulnerability or giving an ounce of opportunity, like piranhas in the Amazon. It won’t last forever. Something’s gonna give. #DicksOutForHarambe
  - rubycon22 6y ago
    extremely blessed post, thanks for saying what many men can't say out loud #DicksOutForHarambe

jfengel 6y ago

Consider it this way: for most of history, men married women with "unstable prospects". They had no job opportunities, not even low-paid ones. Why? Women don't require men to support them. But many still want life partners -- and for most women, they want those life partners to be men. Many would be thrilled with one who stayed home to care for children. Many would be happy with one who created art, not to support them but because it made for a rich life. Many women, all through history, have made satisfying lives while just scraping by. Don't think of your dating life as a search for the best woman who will have you at your salary. Search out somebody who is kind, compassionate, funny, or whatever else it is that will make you smile when you come home, or when she comes home to you. You'll need money, and the money you each make is precisely the same shade of green, neither pink nor blue. If you make enough together to get by, you can lead a perfectly happy life. If some men are unable to adapt to that fact of life, that is surely a problem with those men, not with women. Fixing it starts with not presenting modernity as a conspiracy against them.

pardonmesir 6y ago
again you’re trying to make it a problem inherent in the person who speaks up to point out where they see it differently, and then denigrate the person for propping up a world full of men who see it this way. why? imagine a man’s post suggesting women should just be happy staying home with the kids or making art. you (or your kind) would probably cross-reference their username, find their employer and try to create grounds for the man’s firing a la James Damore. this female-driven trend of thinking there’s enough shame to go around to change the behavior of all men everywhere (especially when the greatest female believers of this seem to have the least amount of desire to truly understand what motivates a man) will no doubt be on the list of grievances when the civil war begins. and for the record, i’m a man who’s doing pretty damn alright in the overall pecking order. i’m in a happy relationship. but yet i see women like you in society everyday with these attitudes — chipping away at men showing an inch of vulnerability or giving an ounce of opportunity, like piranhas in the Amazon. It won’t last forever. Something’s gonna give. #DicksOutForHarambe
- rubycon22 6y ago
  extremely blessed post, thanks for saying what many men can't say out loud #DicksOutForHarambe