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I don't have a book suggestion but I am 49 and have been thinking deeply about friendship for some time. I think 'mutual' is a key word in friendship. I have w
by p0d 6y ago
I don't have a book suggestion but I am 49 and have been thinking deeply about friendship for some time.
I think 'mutual' is a key word in friendship. I have worked hard over the years to maintain friendships and have discovered my efforts aren't always recipricated. Stop contacting certain friends and you will find very quickly that they don't get in touch. I have decided to spend much less time on friendships which are not mutual.
If you have 2 or 3 close friends you are doing well. My tips are to listen more and don't just contact people when you are bored. Respond to people when they reach out to you, even if don't feel like it.
When you are feeling sorry for yourself call someone less better off than yourself. I have an older, infirm friend and when I feel sorry for myself I often give him a call. This reminds my problems are just feelings, not real problems.
Finally, my best friend is my wife. Don't ever take your partner for granted if you have one. There are very few people in the world who will ever be actively interested in you.
- simonebrunozzi 6y agoThanks for sharing this. In particular this line: > When you are feeling sorry for yourself call someone less better off than yourself. I have an older, infirm friend and when I feel sorry for myself I often give him a call. This reminds my problems are just feelings, not real problems. And no worries if it's not a book recommendation. Anything helps. I'm 43 and I've also been thinking about friends and friendship deeply, for quite some time. Add the fact that at age 30 I left my home country (Italy) to travel the world, for work (Luxembourg, then Singapore, then San Francisco). Long distances make it harder to maintain your existing friendships. But perhaps people that didn't move much have experienced similar problems anyway. Edit: forgot to add that this line here is also really insightful - and thankfully, it's not news for me: > my best friend is my wife. Don't ever take your partner for granted if you have one. There are very few people in the world who will ever be actively interested in you.
- p0d 6y agoNo problem. I think you asked a good question as Covid brings many issues to the surface. In particular our relationships.
- dave_sid 6y ago100% agree. At 42 I’ve come to realise it’s about quality and not quantity of friends. Also, maybe making friends gradually via a common interest is better than trying to force it.
- oumua_don17 6y ago>> Finally, my best friend is my wife It’s often suggested by old timers to marry your best friend.