> "Out of curiosity, how does one get from this place to gainful employment in a FAANG company" I was blessed with an above average intelligence. But I didn't

> "Out of curiosity, how does one get from this place to gainful employment in a FAANG company" I was blessed with an above average intelligence. But I didn't have any role models. So it was really about figuring out how intelligent I am and comparing myself to people. One of my more stable jobs was working as a gas station clerk. The gas station I worked at was one of the few in a more affluent, medical-oriented district. Lots of doctors, nurses etc. Most of them treated me like crap. And just listening to the way they talked to me I was like... these people really aren't that smarter than me. So I was like what do smart people do? I have 0 family connections--I was the first person in my family to graduate high school--so I figured I'd go to college. That's what smart people do, right? Went to community college (my high school GPA wouldn't have gotten me into any school with any sort of selection), and succeeded. Graduated with honors, etc. Then transferred to my state's flagship university. Studied something not related to computers. Got out of school during the Great Recession. Struggled to find a job. Had a couple of other shitty, albiet generally better-paying jobs. Met someone who worked at a FAANG. We were talking and having a reasonably intellectual conversation about what they do, networking and the like. Asked them where they went to school. They said they never went to college; they just taught themselves. I was like, really? You can do that? If they can, I can. I have a degree from very selective public university. Graduated with multiple sorts of honors. If I learned one thing, it's how to learn. So I just started teaching myself Linux. Then networking. Then a bit of coding. Got a job helping a start-up-ish company migrate onto AWS. I was underpaid, but underpaid in that world is twice the salary (at least) than either of my parents made in a year collectively. Learned every day. A year later, a recruiter from AWS reached out. That was a couple of years ago now. --- Your description of bouncing is spot-in. I was a mixture of 2&3. I learned to fight because I had no self-control. I had to learn it, eventually, out of self preservation. But my form of self-control was 'shut off your emotions until you feel dead inside. Then at least you're not a wrathful rage monster.' Not the most healthy strategy, but it's kept me out of trouble. I've gotten better, but still haven't shed a single tear in over 15 years. --- > '"I had to pull my alcoholic mom out of a ditch" and "I'm fighting with people all the time". These two things feel disconnected...' Yeah. They're really, really not disconnected. Someone who grows up in that life has no stabilizing influence. They never learn how to deal with problems or actually plan. Also, a neglectful parent means that you probably got abused. By your parent, an associate of your parent, or both. Predators are really effective at looking at a family and finding a situation into which they can insert you. Then you got to deal with that trauma. You're also more than likely to grow up in poverty, which comes with it a whole different set of bad habits and impulses.