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I like the message, but I'm not sure how generalizable it is. Suffering with an end date attached is way more tolerable than sudden, unplanned suffering. This i

I like the message, but I'm not sure how generalizable it is. Suffering with an end date attached is way more tolerable than sudden, unplanned suffering. This is why people endure hard studies(PhD, STEM/Medical School) internship, infant rearing, you name it. I would also claim that physical suffering mentioned is somewhat easier to suppress than mental suffering, in fight-or-flight response context because we have a way clearer consensus of what is not-ok when it comes to physical pain, making the detection of it easier. (The author mention his pain not being back/knee/not serious made him keep going) But for most of us suffering is not planned/predictable; it comes suddenly, unplanned and often is cyclic/wave-like pattern. For the case of cyclic pattern, telling oneself "suffering will eventually end" doesn't help that much because around the corner when it ends, looms the next batch of suffering again. This is why "suffering will eventually end" sounds like a nice comforting advice to new parents/student/employee but is a terrible advice to someone that is going in-and-out of depression, in a life crisis, etc.

closeparen 6y ago
In cognitive-behavioral therapy for depression, you will be asked to observe and take notes on both positive and negative emotions. One reason is to become aware of the thoughts and behaviors that trigger them. This has a surface-level application: dismantle negative triggers, build positive triggers, feel good more often. But another mechanism is meta. One of the worst elements of depression is the belief, "I feel terrible all the time for no reason (or for big intractable reasons), and I always will." This probably isn't true. You feel terrible sometimes, for specific reasons you can identify and work on. You also feel okay sometimes. The trick is to notice this. CBT putting it in your face on a regular basis can force an update to your model of feeling. Then when a negative emotion comes, it doesn't have a big powerful story about helplessness and permanence to interact with. The story was responsible for most of the suffering. Without it, the emotion passes in less time and with less intensity. The waves roll in and then collapse. Tides change, moon phase changes, weather changes, seasons change. You don't have to believe the whole thing is going to stop to appreciate that conditions will be favorable again.
- dash2 6y ago
  This. The biggest change in my life came when I started to notice the times that I felt good.

closeparen 6y ago

In cognitive-behavioral therapy for depression, you will be asked to observe and take notes on both positive and negative emotions. One reason is to become aware of the thoughts and behaviors that trigger them. This has a surface-level application: dismantle negative triggers, build positive triggers, feel good more often. But another mechanism is meta. One of the worst elements of depression is the belief, "I feel terrible all the time for no reason (or for big intractable reasons), and I always will." This probably isn't true. You feel terrible sometimes, for specific reasons you can identify and work on. You also feel okay sometimes. The trick is to notice this. CBT putting it in your face on a regular basis can force an update to your model of feeling. Then when a negative emotion comes, it doesn't have a big powerful story about helplessness and permanence to interact with. The story was responsible for most of the suffering. Without it, the emotion passes in less time and with less intensity. The waves roll in and then collapse. Tides change, moon phase changes, weather changes, seasons change. You don't have to believe the whole thing is going to stop to appreciate that conditions will be favorable again.

dash2 6y ago
This. The biggest change in my life came when I started to notice the times that I felt good.