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I don't mean to insult but I think your view is pretty naïve in its own way. You see the rapport built from going to the bar as an advantage that you shouldn't

I don't mean to insult but I think your view is pretty naïve in its own way. You see the rapport built from going to the bar as an advantage that you shouldn't pass up on. In your example where failing to go to the bar makes you less impactful at work, I see a team that is doing a shitty job at team building, which will probably harm their chances of success. The blame for that can go in any and all directions, it's on everyone. If every potential detractor involved just says to themselves "this is what everyone else likes, so I'll fix my attitude and head to the bar", you can end up with several of them contorting to fit in, and then you're just cargo culting a good culture instead of really having one.

xyzelement 6y ago
Smolder, I don't mean it as black and white as it sounds. Here's an analogy: If you see $5 laying on the ground, it's better for you to pick it up. That's different than saying we must structure society in a way that people are relying on finding money on the ground (which is where you are taking it.) It's OBVIOUSLY possible to have teams and employees that operate fine without these experiences. My point is that these experiences are just opportunities to make it better (like picking up the $5) so why wouldn't one try to be the kind of person who is happy to pick up the $5 rather than someone who grumbles about it?
- fakedang 6y ago
  What inevitably happens with your approach is that people will soon gradually feel forced into taking part in bar meetings, else their "rapport" would be affected, which would have further detrimental effects down their career at that place. Hence people get herded into team building exercises for the group against their will, even though they might have zero interest or capability in such exercises. This leads to the cargoculting mentioned in the previous comment. Sure, it's good to find and pick up $5 on the street, but in this case it will inevitably lead to a place where people have to rely on finding money on the ground.

xyzelement 6y ago

Smolder, I don't mean it as black and white as it sounds. Here's an analogy: If you see $5 laying on the ground, it's better for you to pick it up. That's different than saying we must structure society in a way that people are relying on finding money on the ground (which is where you are taking it.) It's OBVIOUSLY possible to have teams and employees that operate fine without these experiences. My point is that these experiences are just opportunities to make it better (like picking up the $5) so why wouldn't one try to be the kind of person who is happy to pick up the $5 rather than someone who grumbles about it?

fakedang 6y ago
What inevitably happens with your approach is that people will soon gradually feel forced into taking part in bar meetings, else their "rapport" would be affected, which would have further detrimental effects down their career at that place. Hence people get herded into team building exercises for the group against their will, even though they might have zero interest or capability in such exercises. This leads to the cargoculting mentioned in the previous comment. Sure, it's good to find and pick up $5 on the street, but in this case it will inevitably lead to a place where people have to rely on finding money on the ground.