3 ms·
American here. I think many of us are kind of socially unmoored, and actually don't know how to take a neutral tone, and get anxious when someone takes a neutra
by bittercynic 6y ago
American here. I think many of us are kind of socially unmoored, and actually don't know how to take a neutral tone, and get anxious when someone takes a neutral tone with us. Almost like we're so insecure that we need constant positive feedback/reassurance that we're in a friendly situation. I've been around this my whole life and haven't gotten used to it, but I do the overly friendly act when it seems that people are expecting it. It doesn't cost me anything, and it seems to help people leave an interaction feeling secure.
- NoSorryCannot 6y agoAmericans aren't socially unmoored. We come from a society where people smile as a matter of being polite. People everywhere have to learn social signals and ours happen to involve smiling as a matter of course. This thread is pretty irritating for being kind of clueless to the reality that every culture on earth is going to have trappings like this and the alleged stoicism of Russia and Germany are no exception. (Thinking someone is simple or mentally ill because they smile too much is already such a trapping.)
- danielscrubs 6y agoI don’t think it has anything to do with smiling, go ahead and smile. At least with the russians I’ve spent time with, it just takes some time before people open up. Don’t ask a question and completely ignore the answer. Don’t give platitudes when they could spend some effort and saying what a team member did well. It’s the same in dating, don’t tell someone they are beautiful, go the extra mile. At least I think this is what people mean by “fake” but I’m not sure.