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"You guys are {killing,crushing,owning} it" I say this to my team a lot, even though they're operating as "expected" levels for my company. The reality is the

"You guys are {killing,crushing,owning} it" I say this to my team a lot, even though they're operating as "expected" levels for my company. The reality is there are a lot of teams and a lot of companies that simply do not expect much from their teams. We do. I want to remind the team that they are doing good work. When people have confidence they're doing a good job, they're more likely to continue to do a good job.

smrq 6y ago
You might want to internalize the parent comment, because it's entirely possible that some of your team members are not taking it that way. I'm on the receiving end of such feedback often. I know that it's coming from a genuine place. But that doesn't stop it from being irritating!
halfmatthalfcat 6y ago
There's a class of people though, myself included, that do not like external validation. I thrive on internal validation on my perceived work product strength. I feel like I'm a better judge of whether my work is good or bad than a non-technical project manager. It's different when it comes from a technical peer or a technical manager. There it definitely means more. Closer to my point though, it was the continued repetition of the positive reinforcement. I'm talking a weekly occurrence where the situation did not call for the reinforcement. It felt fake and, to me, had the opposite effect as intended.
- clairity 6y ago
  everyone responds to intrinsic motivation (which in part is what you're describing). very few people can last very long on extrinsic motivation only (like fake praise). there's not two classes of people who divide neatly into one camp or the other.
vagrantJin 6y ago
I must be one of those who feel slighted when I recieve undue praise. It's kind of patronizing hyperbole and I see it as being treated like a toddler than a grown, paid professional. I'm not one of Pavlov's dogs.
shrimpx 6y ago
Something to watch out for is people becoming jaded if you use bombastic winning language like "crushing it" all the time, and your praise language doesn't measure up to the size of the win. If a tiny fix and a huge win are both "crushing it", a sense of meaninglessness will permeate.
clairity 6y ago
no one wants fake praise, but rather real, genuine praise only. some folks will convince themselves the fake praise is genuine, but mostly, everyone can tell in their heart of hearts which is which. you're not really fooling most folks most of the time. give real praise only when it's deserved. support and compassion, however, should always be readily at hand.
- megous 6y ago
  Depends. Your output may feel great to someone else, but you may not feel excited about it personally. (and there may be no conflict, or fakery of praise in it) Perhaps based on how perfectionist you are, or based on what you like about the work. You might be excited/motivated by different aspects of your work than your manager. To me it would come down to whether I think other person is praising my work just to get more of it done just for the praise (I'd have negative reaction), or whether he just likes it that much personally (neutral to mildly positive reaction).
  - clairity 6y ago
    then it's not fake praise (in the latter case), but genuine praise, whether you value the output the same or not.
  - CuriousSkeptic 6y ago
    Perhaps it would be better to express a genuine feeling instead. Praise implies being in a position to praise at all. Having some authority or mastery with regard to what is praised. Often enough, I am that authority. I don’t expect praise from my clients. I’m getting payed precisely because they lack the mastery I offer. Instead I would be happy to hear about their true feelings. Stories of gratitude, or relief, or whatever else happened in their life that I might have played a role in.
    - megous 6y ago
      Yes, I understand. But a lot of the time people express feelings indirectly, and it's pointless to try to change everyone's communication style. So people sometimes use praise if they're happy about something, or whatever, and I interpret that in a way that suits my well being. It's just part of the communication style of someone, or even part of a culture of a country. If it bothers me, and it is the relationship I care about or looks to be long term, I may ask the person to communicate differently with me. But most of the time I get praise from random people on the internet, and I just interpret it that they are grateful for my contributions, regardless of what they say. Sometimes they want something from me, and are probably not comfortable with just asking for it, so they pad the communication with some praise about the software or me. Some state that they're uncomfortable asking for help more directly, some just add praise at the beginning/end of each reply. (which gets kinda strange after 3-4 interactions :)) It's nice if someone communicates more directly, but I can try to understand the other people, too, regardless of communication style.
strokirk 6y ago
On behalf of the people that DO like praise for continuing to meet or works hard to meet expectations, thank you! I'm always surprised with how many people (especially at this site?) doesn't seem to like praise and approval.
klyrs 6y ago
> When people have confidence they're doing a good job, they're more likely to continue to do a good job. They're just as liable to continue doing a shit job, and with the confidence that your opinion isn't worth a dram.
mbrodersen 6y ago
Whatever you do, never ever pretend to be somebody you are not or fake praise when it isn’t sincere. Smart developers will instantly loose respect for you and write you off as personified BS.

smrq 6y ago

You might want to internalize the parent comment, because it's entirely possible that some of your team members are not taking it that way. I'm on the receiving end of such feedback often. I know that it's coming from a genuine place. But that doesn't stop it from being irritating!

halfmatthalfcat 6y ago

There's a class of people though, myself included, that do not like external validation. I thrive on internal validation on my perceived work product strength. I feel like I'm a better judge of whether my work is good or bad than a non-technical project manager. It's different when it comes from a technical peer or a technical manager. There it definitely means more. Closer to my point though, it was the continued repetition of the positive reinforcement. I'm talking a weekly occurrence where the situation did not call for the reinforcement. It felt fake and, to me, had the opposite effect as intended.

clairity 6y ago
everyone responds to intrinsic motivation (which in part is what you're describing). very few people can last very long on extrinsic motivation only (like fake praise). there's not two classes of people who divide neatly into one camp or the other.

vagrantJin 6y ago

I must be one of those who feel slighted when I recieve undue praise. It's kind of patronizing hyperbole and I see it as being treated like a toddler than a grown, paid professional. I'm not one of Pavlov's dogs.

shrimpx 6y ago

Something to watch out for is people becoming jaded if you use bombastic winning language like "crushing it" all the time, and your praise language doesn't measure up to the size of the win. If a tiny fix and a huge win are both "crushing it", a sense of meaninglessness will permeate.

clairity 6y ago

no one wants fake praise, but rather real, genuine praise only. some folks will convince themselves the fake praise is genuine, but mostly, everyone can tell in their heart of hearts which is which. you're not really fooling most folks most of the time. give real praise only when it's deserved. support and compassion, however, should always be readily at hand.

megous 6y ago
Depends. Your output may feel great to someone else, but you may not feel excited about it personally. (and there may be no conflict, or fakery of praise in it) Perhaps based on how perfectionist you are, or based on what you like about the work. You might be excited/motivated by different aspects of your work than your manager. To me it would come down to whether I think other person is praising my work just to get more of it done just for the praise (I'd have negative reaction), or whether he just likes it that much personally (neutral to mildly positive reaction).
- clairity 6y ago
  then it's not fake praise (in the latter case), but genuine praise, whether you value the output the same or not.
- CuriousSkeptic 6y ago
  Perhaps it would be better to express a genuine feeling instead. Praise implies being in a position to praise at all. Having some authority or mastery with regard to what is praised. Often enough, I am that authority. I don’t expect praise from my clients. I’m getting payed precisely because they lack the mastery I offer. Instead I would be happy to hear about their true feelings. Stories of gratitude, or relief, or whatever else happened in their life that I might have played a role in.
  - megous 6y ago
    Yes, I understand. But a lot of the time people express feelings indirectly, and it's pointless to try to change everyone's communication style. So people sometimes use praise if they're happy about something, or whatever, and I interpret that in a way that suits my well being. It's just part of the communication style of someone, or even part of a culture of a country. If it bothers me, and it is the relationship I care about or looks to be long term, I may ask the person to communicate differently with me. But most of the time I get praise from random people on the internet, and I just interpret it that they are grateful for my contributions, regardless of what they say. Sometimes they want something from me, and are probably not comfortable with just asking for it, so they pad the communication with some praise about the software or me. Some state that they're uncomfortable asking for help more directly, some just add praise at the beginning/end of each reply. (which gets kinda strange after 3-4 interactions :)) It's nice if someone communicates more directly, but I can try to understand the other people, too, regardless of communication style.

strokirk 6y ago

On behalf of the people that DO like praise for continuing to meet or works hard to meet expectations, thank you! I'm always surprised with how many people (especially at this site?) doesn't seem to like praise and approval.

klyrs 6y ago

> When people have confidence they're doing a good job, they're more likely to continue to do a good job. They're just as liable to continue doing a shit job, and with the confidence that your opinion isn't worth a dram.

mbrodersen 6y ago

Whatever you do, never ever pretend to be somebody you are not or fake praise when it isn’t sincere. Smart developers will instantly loose respect for you and write you off as personified BS.