4 ms·

I think Toxic Positivity is a bit of a misnomer, I'd probably call it "False Positivity". It's not some subset of real positivity that is toxic, it's just... n

I think Toxic Positivity is a bit of a misnomer, I'd probably call it "False Positivity". It's not some subset of real positivity that is toxic, it's just... not actual positivity. It's an act.

WarOnPrivacy 6y ago
The author's point seems to be that it is toxic to a person to (try to) exist in permanent state of positivity. I can get behind that notion. I've had friends who were chronically positive. It gelded our friendship because they hoarded all the negative stuff in their life.
- jrumbut 6y ago
  Is gelded a typo or is this an expression I wasn't aware of? I kind of like it, without sincere emotions something was missing (like when a horse is gelded).
  - WarOnPrivacy 6y ago
    You read it like I meant it. eg:neutered, typical interactions aren't happening here
  - aminozuur 6y ago
    You got it right: https://wor.do/geld https://wor.do/geld
- _qulr 6y ago
  > The author's point seems to be that it is toxic to a person to (try to) exist in permanent state of positivity. Yes. The article started out with the psychologist explaining how the client was looking for fake doctor's notes just to avoid going to work because the client didn't feel "totally positive" that day. That's toxic positivity, the feeling that you can't outwardly display anything less than complete cheerfulness, that you have to bottle up any problem inside and not let it out.
op03 6y ago
Next up True Negativity or Positive Toxicity. Take your pick. “Our language is an imperfect instrument created by ancient and ignorant men. It is an animistic language that invites us to talk about stability and constants, about similarities and normal and kinds, about magical transformations, quick cures, simple problems, and final solutions. Yet the world we try to symbolize with this language is a world of process, change, differences, dimensions, functions, relationships, growths, interactions, developing, learning, coping, complexity. And the mismatch of our ever-changing world and our relatively static language forms is part of our problem.” - Wendell Johnson
- jdsalaro 6y ago
  "Makes broad, meaningless and demeaning generalizations about language and its creators by alluding to their inability to capture the world's complex nature while doing that very same thing by means of rigid categorizations and stark remarks all in the interest of sounding edgy" - Wendell Johnson Nice, albeit terribly useless, soundbite.
- rimiform 6y ago
  Johnson sounds like he just finished reading Deleuze and Guattari.
- vagrantJin 6y ago
  The word toxic and the derived toxicity are starting to grate. > And the mismatch of our ever-changing world and our relatively static language forms is part of our problem Hegel and his merry-band of psuedo-intellectuals like this clown (Johnson) are the reason philosophy isn't taken seriously as it used to.
beefman 6y ago
It's more than just phony positivity. It includes supression of criticism.
dr_dshiv 6y ago
I 100% agree with this.
kayodelycaon 6y ago
No, there is toxic positivity, but I don't think this article is talking about it. I'll give you an example. "Don't worry, it'll get better." People genuinely believe that and for many things, it's true. For someone with a chronic and severe mental illness with no known cure? We're sick of hearing it. There is no better for me. I'll never be completely free of suicidal thoughts or medication side-effects. I will never be free from degree of pain and suffering many people don't understand. Does that make me unhappy? Frequently but I'm used to hurting all the time and I try to make the best of it. For more: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-toxic-positivity-5093958 https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-toxic-positivity-509395...
- NoSorryCannot 6y ago
  Speaking as someone with mental health issues and as someone who has been the shoulder for others who are the same, no, saying it'll get better doesn't help because almost nothing that could be said will. But being lead in circles of doom talk and complaining by someone who is inconsolable naturally leads to vacuous sayings like it is what it is, it's not as bad as it seems, or count your blessings, only because I have to say something in reply despite not having any answers.
  - kayodelycaon 6y ago
    > only because I have to say something in reply despite not having any answers I completely understand and my reply comes out of very hard experiences from decades of helping people. Humans are emotional beings. We want to help. We hurt when we can’t. We feel guilty. The natural response is to say or do anything to make that guilt go away. This is a deep, hardwired response. It is a natural response and a good one. I consider this to be one of humanity’s best traits. But it is not a good response in this situation. My goal is to help people. If I am to do that, nothing I say should said out of my own feelings of guilt or helplessness. I’ve learned to embrace guilt and acknowledge it’s there but also tell it it is not helpful in that moment. I need to do what I know is right, not what I feel is right. Hand and hand with this is letting go of the belief we have control. We can not save people who don’t want to be saved. There is only so much we can do. And we will fail. I’ve lost friends I’ve wished I could have saved but I know there were no words. Therefore, I have no responsibility for their actions. As a very wise person once said, It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life.

I think Toxic Positivity is a bit of a misnomer, I'd probably call it "False Positivity". It's not some subset of real positivity that is toxic, it's just... not actual positivity. It's an act.

WarOnPrivacy 6y ago

The author's point seems to be that it is toxic to a person to (try to) exist in permanent state of positivity. I can get behind that notion. I've had friends who were chronically positive. It gelded our friendship because they hoarded all the negative stuff in their life.

jrumbut 6y ago
Is gelded a typo or is this an expression I wasn't aware of? I kind of like it, without sincere emotions something was missing (like when a horse is gelded).
- WarOnPrivacy 6y ago
  You read it like I meant it. eg:neutered, typical interactions aren't happening here
- aminozuur 6y ago
  You got it right: https://wor.do/geld https://wor.do/geld
_qulr 6y ago
> The author's point seems to be that it is toxic to a person to (try to) exist in permanent state of positivity. Yes. The article started out with the psychologist explaining how the client was looking for fake doctor's notes just to avoid going to work because the client didn't feel "totally positive" that day. That's toxic positivity, the feeling that you can't outwardly display anything less than complete cheerfulness, that you have to bottle up any problem inside and not let it out.

op03 6y ago

Next up True Negativity or Positive Toxicity. Take your pick. “Our language is an imperfect instrument created by ancient and ignorant men. It is an animistic language that invites us to talk about stability and constants, about similarities and normal and kinds, about magical transformations, quick cures, simple problems, and final solutions. Yet the world we try to symbolize with this language is a world of process, change, differences, dimensions, functions, relationships, growths, interactions, developing, learning, coping, complexity. And the mismatch of our ever-changing world and our relatively static language forms is part of our problem.” - Wendell Johnson

jdsalaro 6y ago
"Makes broad, meaningless and demeaning generalizations about language and its creators by alluding to their inability to capture the world's complex nature while doing that very same thing by means of rigid categorizations and stark remarks all in the interest of sounding edgy" - Wendell Johnson Nice, albeit terribly useless, soundbite.
rimiform 6y ago
Johnson sounds like he just finished reading Deleuze and Guattari.
vagrantJin 6y ago
The word toxic and the derived toxicity are starting to grate. > And the mismatch of our ever-changing world and our relatively static language forms is part of our problem Hegel and his merry-band of psuedo-intellectuals like this clown (Johnson) are the reason philosophy isn't taken seriously as it used to.

beefman 6y ago

It's more than just phony positivity. It includes supression of criticism.

dr_dshiv 6y ago

I 100% agree with this.

kayodelycaon 6y ago

No, there is toxic positivity, but I don't think this article is talking about it. I'll give you an example. "Don't worry, it'll get better." People genuinely believe that and for many things, it's true. For someone with a chronic and severe mental illness with no known cure? We're sick of hearing it. There is no better for me. I'll never be completely free of suicidal thoughts or medication side-effects. I will never be free from degree of pain and suffering many people don't understand. Does that make me unhappy? Frequently but I'm used to hurting all the time and I try to make the best of it. For more: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-toxic-positivity-5093958 https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-toxic-positivity-509395...

NoSorryCannot 6y ago
Speaking as someone with mental health issues and as someone who has been the shoulder for others who are the same, no, saying it'll get better doesn't help because almost nothing that could be said will. But being lead in circles of doom talk and complaining by someone who is inconsolable naturally leads to vacuous sayings like it is what it is, it's not as bad as it seems, or count your blessings, only because I have to say something in reply despite not having any answers.
- kayodelycaon 6y ago
  > only because I have to say something in reply despite not having any answers I completely understand and my reply comes out of very hard experiences from decades of helping people. Humans are emotional beings. We want to help. We hurt when we can’t. We feel guilty. The natural response is to say or do anything to make that guilt go away. This is a deep, hardwired response. It is a natural response and a good one. I consider this to be one of humanity’s best traits. But it is not a good response in this situation. My goal is to help people. If I am to do that, nothing I say should said out of my own feelings of guilt or helplessness. I’ve learned to embrace guilt and acknowledge it’s there but also tell it it is not helpful in that moment. I need to do what I know is right, not what I feel is right. Hand and hand with this is letting go of the belief we have control. We can not save people who don’t want to be saved. There is only so much we can do. And we will fail. I’ve lost friends I’ve wished I could have saved but I know there were no words. Therefore, I have no responsibility for their actions. As a very wise person once said, It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life.